Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Full moon in Pisces

Feel the Nirvana.

A day reserved to feel as if you're going to burst open with emotions, and hopefully they're good ones, just like Marie's (West Side Story)...Otherwise, hit play and sing along until you're feeling it.

Update: Maybe it's the karma from bitching and moaning about noisy funerals and monks, but THIS DAY SUCKED! No matter how I try to follow my own advice, it's not going to work! Whatever, hypocrites give the best advice...Anyway, during the rain at 2am, somewhere on my bike ride home, my keys fell out of my pocket or bag!!!! In a state of panic and backtracking, with no luck, I had to call my friend from around the corner until he woke up, to get my spare set...how mercury retrograde, he's my friend from high school...and sweetly, he was a doll about it...So, yeah what in the hell is the universe trying to say? As it goes, this Pisces moon cycle began with me dropping my computer during the new moon and killing it and now it ends with this!!!! WTF... Anyway, just more complaining because I want to and I guess for me, this Pisces cycle is all about the woe is me factor...FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!...just saying...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Sun enters Virgo

I'm just saying...

I live across from a Buddhist Temple and down the street from a funeral parlor and for the past few days, they've both woken me up too early in the morning and pushed me into my day feeling too cranky for words--which is doubly painful, since all my recent travels have turned my brain into a timezone milkshake...

Anyway, as of recent, the monks have been leaving their doors wide open and chanting extra loud, playing all sorts of new instruments that aren't the most eloquent. Just a lot of crazy blowing and banging that is impossible to ignore. How it equates to any semblance of divining peace? Who the fuck knows...

...and somewhere in this city, the economy must be picking up, because extra elaborate and extra loud funerals are happening again, as in too many sad Dixieland musicians lined up on the sidewalk, blaring loudly at the crack of dawn; all sounding as if they're playing in their own time and going at it until the large procession of mourners all find their way to chauffeured cars on a one way street that can often clog traffic up for way over a block away... Between the banging, blowing, honking and gonging, I am at the end...I know how bitchy and bitter it sounds to be inconvenienced by someone's death or another's prayers for peace, but OMFG, why?

...Maybe it's the super critical Virgo energy in the air or maybe I just have to face the cold hard fact that I really am just that mean and sour? Who knows, truth is so subjective these days...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo

Ahhhh, memories...

On July 30th, three convicted murderers broke out of a maximum security jail in Arizona. While one was caught early on, two were still on the run, complete with a first cousin/lady love in tow. By August 6th another was caught in Wyoming, about 60 miles outside of Yellowstone National Park. Unfortunately, the armed incestuous couple was not. The following days, the search grew more intense, with the area of Yellowstone Park being the focus.

On August 15th, Julie G. and Kiki T. started their road trip towards the same destination, Yellowstone, the hotbed of fugitive action...but unlike the screwy cousins, they weren't running from the law, just reality and thankfully at every stop, there were willing participants ready to aid and abet their cause. However, by August 19th, both parties were no longer fugitives for varying reasons.

5-Day Fugitives

Special thanks to Jef, Chaz, James, Charity and Ken, fantastic enablers and of course, xoxox to my partner-in-crime, Yulie.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Uranus re-enters Pisces, my solar 5th

Weird lessons regarding love...

Today, I decided I was going to start my traveling adventure early and take the train to the airport. Little did I forget that the reason I never do this is because I hate hauling my luggage up and down stairs, but lucky little me, this city is filled with lots of virile men that will do my dirty work.

As I was standing in front of the turnstile, contemplating why my ass wasn't in a cab, in comes kind-of-sexy-guy-#1 to carry up my suitcase and swoop them down two flights of stairs. Although he didn't speak any English (he was Spanish), he could muster enough English to tell me I was beautiful and really, what more did he need to say?

...However, after a transfer and a few more flights of stairs, he was starting to say he loved me, so I scooted over a little farther, and no worries, as there was yet another guy willing to jump in to save me. He had a hot body on him too, and was all about helping me sort out the various train lines and which specifically was going my way. (Fun factoid: The A train in NYC goes to the Airtran that takes you to the airport, but there are 3 different destinations on the A and only 2 of them will connect you to the right place.)

...Anyway, when Mr. Man #2 got to be too much, I turned around and there was yet another gentleman wanting to chat me up and find out all about my travels...So, lesson to be learned today ladies, if you want your ass to get picked up fast or just need a few good strokes to the ego, head to a subway, train or bus with a suitcase, because dudes love being helpful and nothing like hauling extra baggage, literally, to get the masochism out and swirling about you.

P.S. Two months ago, for a weekend trip I also had to haul my suitcase into the subway and once again, met a sexy Russian guy. He carried my suitcase over several flights of stairs and he even rolled it up a long mini hill underground. I'm telling you, suitcase and estrogen, a deadly combo for man...It's like shooting fish in a barrel!!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

New Moon in Leo

"If you're sad and like beer, I'm your lady." Lady Port-Huntley

Since I am still somewhat hazy from jet lag, which included a nearly 36-hour straight sleeping marathon, I'll save you from my nonsensical mutterings and give you one the greatest cinematic masterpieces of all time for this very enchanting and entertaining new moon, Saddest Music In The World.

From 2003, Saddest Music In The World is from experimental film mastermind Guy Maddin. Set in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada during the Great Depression, this dark comedy of sorts is plotted around a competition announced by a legless beer magnate to find the saddest piece of music in the world and includes a totally brilliant performance by Isabella Rossellini.

See it for yourself and feel the enticement...the trailer:

For members of Netflix, watch instantly for free at this link: http://www.netflix.com/WiPlayer?movieid=60034805&trkid=222336&strackid=2a748663193fe958_0_srl&strkid=687548667_0_0

All others, sorry to say I couldn't find a free streaming link, so to watch, you can get rent or buy a copy at Itunes, but know it'll so be worth it, as it's one of those films you can watch over and over again, as there are so many nuances to the cinematography and plot that there's always something fresh to each viewing and the music is amazing! Here's the link:

Friday, August 6, 2010

Venus enters Libra, my solar 12th

Karma, karma, JACKPOT!

One of my biggest dreams came true today! When I checked into my 9-hour flight from Berlin to NYC this morning, I got the news of a lifetime! I was being upgraded to business class!!!!! This is something I have always dreamed of and even tried several times to get...like when me and my precious FLC went on our budget beach vacation to Jamaica and told everyone we were on our honeymoon to try to get free stuff, but to no avail, as NO ONE BELIEVED us...seems someone wasn't able to sell it as a hetero...but anyway, that is a whole other story and this was pure magic. The news broke as followed:

C.P. (counter person, complete with German accent and a goofy personality): So, Ms. T., we see you booked a window seat.
Me: Yes.
C.P.: Well, you still have a window seat, but we've had to move you. Is that okay?
Me: Sure.
C.P.: You are now in business class. Is that okay?

This is when the shit hit the fan and I reacted like I won a lottery — eyes big, jumping up and down, grabbing my friend, hugging him, then jumping up and down with him! I even took a picture of me and the airline worker responsible for the switch, a boy that looked 15. It made him blush and all his co-workers giggled, but whatever, I didn't care. I love him and loved that he bumped me up!

(Here he is — my hero. See, he really does like 15, right????)

So, yeah, I have no idea how I am ever going to fly coach again after this???? I did fly first class and business class once, when I was in Thailand ages ago, because it only cost $20 more, but those were only 1-2 hour flights and the only noticeable perk was a choice in sandwiches, as opposed to no choice...this was a whole other beast and OMG, YES, all those stories I heard about what happens behind that curtain are true!!!!

As soon as I sat down, (and btw, no line in entering the plane, got to cruise onto the sky priority line with no wait time!) they're pouring the champagne and seemingly genuinely excited to greet me. There was no rushing of the seats, fighting for that one slither of arm rest with the person next to me or trying to contort myself to fit in for maximum comfort for the long haul.

No, instead there were other things to do: look over the menu to decide what I wanted for dinner, peruse the wine list, pick which magazines I wanted, sort out the entertainment system, look over all the toiletries in my free mini overnight bag and learn all the controls of the buttons in which my seat could spread out — as in lying down or just popping up the foot rests. Sorry to sound to provincial, but this was a fairy tale come true! (...and btw, the fresh baked cookies are also real!)

(Look how cute the salt and pepper shakers are in business class!)

Funny, funny was that just a few weeks prior, on a train coming home from the beach I met a air steward and asked him how to get myself bumped up to first class. His little tidbit was that when you enter a plane, greet the stewardesses and stewards and bring them chocolate. He even suggested mini Snickers, because for some reason that is something he found they prefer. Of course, I also wonder if cold hard cash works too...cause God knows I'd rather fork over some $ on the DL to them than their corporate counterparts, as it'd also cost way less this way too...Whichever the case, whatever you can do to get this perk of all perks, if you can't afford it, do it...So, here are some other tips that might help you better enjoy flying the friendlier skies (according to some more research I've done):

1. Dress nicely. Although when I got the bump up, they had already arranged it before I even appeared, but I am told, if you want to wow the attendants, you're going to have to look the part. Think superficially. If they want to lick you, they'll put you in first class.

2. Don't be scared to ask everyone. Although I am told it's the attendants that can really help you, not the counter person. If you have to, complain that the person next to you is too smelly or your seat is broken or something that gives you real cause to get your seat changed. Of course, this might just mean a lateral move, not a vertical one.

3. This is a bit risky, but arrive late and then complain that the reason you were late was because of a competitor airline caused it and how much they suck. From what I am told, the receiving airline will want to make themselves look good and save your day, which may mean an upgrade.

4. Ask the ticket counter to code your ticket. Although they might not be able to help your cause directly, there is a whole secret language your ticket has that can help you maneuver your way through the system. Ask for this code for a possible upgrade, so the gate keeper can know you are in the know and from there, this will up your chances of getting bumped up.

5. Surprises like this are more likely when you've got a stockpile of good karma on your side. So live nicely, happily and lovingly and hope your next flight might mean a way the universe can give you a nod. If not, oh well and whatever, at least you're probably heading somewhere pleasant for something exciting, so be grateful for whatever you do have.

(Is it me, or is the sky prettier in business class?)