Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Jupiter goes retrograde in Taurus

Come again?

It's the tail end of summer here in Kiki-ville, so trying to stay on top of everything has been a bit more hectic. Throw in an earthquake, hurricane, a massive stream of deadlines, negotiations, random appointments, only a few more days of perfect beach weather and an inability to be an early bird, and well, you have me aligned to work at retrograde speed -- but this time around, it's Jupiter's bump into reverse...

However, since Jupiter is the planet of luck and expansion, despite it hauling its fat ass backwards, it doesn't mean anything bad or as intense as say, a Mercury retrograde. Jupiter is always benevolent, so this mode merely transforms the energy around into a more internal form, and one that may also bring the past back into relevance, but in a positive way... 

So, as it goes, this is the exact list given for Jupiter in Taurus, as in what it would bring in terms of luck for each sign. Keep this in mind until December 25, because until then these will be the same areas in line for a change in trajectory, as in reaching within you for realizations and reactions that will bring the satisfaction...

Aries (March 21-April 19): Money, Possessions, Security
Taurus (April 20- May 20): Overall Luck In All Areas, New Beginnings, Taking Risks
Gemini (May 21- June 20): Psychic Hunches, Dealings With Your Past, Creating Your Legacy
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Associates And Friendships, Your Wildest Dreams, Technology
Leo (July 23- August 22): Career, Fame, Respect
Virgo (August 23- September 22): International Dealings, Higher Education, Spiritual Pursuits
Libra (September 23- October 22: Sex, Power, Money
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Commitment (love &/or career), Balance, Beauty
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Health, Work, Results
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Love, Creativity, The Spotlight
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Real Estate, Family, Business
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Travel, Learning, Media

Sunday, August 28, 2011

New Moon in Virgo

Whistle while you work...

Don't get lazy!
The new moon in prissy and perfect Virgo is here to say, "Get you ass into gear, because fall is just around the corner and it's the harvest season, so hope you're ready to start putting your ducks in order, because this is when organization and purpose will matter or else you'll be in for one long-ass winter..."

As for areas to get it together for the next two weeks, for maximum results, here it is per sign:

Aries: Focusing on making routines that help move you ahead.
Taurus: Sprucing up your inner go-getter with a better, more ego-driven attitude.
Gemini: Coming back down to earth for some grounding, in general.
Cancer: Using words to put together pieces of your puzzle, not just intuition.
Leo: Chilling out, and letting fate do some of the work.
Virgo: Being assertive and putting yourself first.
Libra: Knowing better than to let past mistakes happen over and over again.
Scorpio: Believing in others, and giving them a real chance.
Sagittarius: Redefining success on your terms.
Capricorn: Saying, "Screw the status quo; its for suckers."
Aquarius: Digging deeper beyond the surface, as nothing important will be obvious now.
Pisces: Getting that two heads are truly better than one, so reach out.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mercury goes direct in Virgo

Don't count those chicken quite yet...

A shark swimming in the streets of Puerto Rico post hurricane!
Ahhhh, not a minute to rest with Mother Nature going at it. Now, a hurricane alert! Hurricane Irene, a category 2 (then downgraded to 1) is heading right for NYC this Saturday!!! The first total MTA shut down of the world's largest public transit system in history!!!!! And the first ever mandatory evacuation in coastal and low-lying areas of NYC!!!!!

Of course, being that it is New York Fucking City, seems the fear is far outweighed by the annoyance factor over inconvenience. For example, at 6:30 pm today, riding my bike across 14th St. there were no out of the ordinary lines at the groceries, but the line into a liquor store was around the corner.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sun in Virgo

It'll make sense soon...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, today a 5.9 earthquake shook NYC. At that time, I happen to be at my desk, writing my lil horoscopes when my apartment started shaking. Since my building shakes all the time, being close to two bridges, at first it didn't seem like a big deal. I just thought it was heavier traffic or some kind of construction. Only when it went on longer and a little more intense did I get what was going on...

To confirm, I tried Googling to find out, but it wasn't even news yet and no tweets either...I then stuck my head out the door to look around, but all the other buildings around me looked still, but still my building was shaking...Either or, I did know whatever I was doing wasn't what I should of been doing and even after I realized I was suppose to do something, I had to no clue what it was, but before it were to happen, I did know one thing: I wanted to change outfits before doing it, because if I was only going to have one outfit in the world, it wasn't going to be the one I had on...but by the time I made it to my closet (and not because my apartment is so spacious), the shaking stopped...One day, my vanity is going to kill me.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Venus enters Virgo

True love works in funny ways...

Dogs in Space
One of my favorite movies of all time!!!!! I lived and breathed to have my life be just like this when I was a little angst-ridden teen that only longed to be so punk rock. lol. No, seriously, I did do it in my own little colorful way and this movie was the outline for everything I thought was cool. I still love this movie to death and will always fondly remember reciting the lines of it with my friends over and over again when we weren't watching it over and over again....ahhh, true love is beautiful!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Mercury enters Leo

Self-obsession begins today.

According to a quiz on Psych Central, I am a narcissist.

Next day: I retook the test and I am no longer a narcissist...I suppose PMS is making me more humble...although I'm still having superiority issues...However, no one I know thinks of me this way...or so they tell me...

Conclusion: It's only narcissism if you're boring or annoying, as its only really a disorder if those around you suffer for it...or only befriend enablers.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Neptune retrogrades into Aquarius

One last time 2 fight lame social norms & infuse some ingenuity, kick fake friends 2 the curb & embrace the future bravely...

Mean Girls! (The streaming version, complete with Russian subtitles!)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mars in Cancer

Evasiveness is now the new black...

Get ready, as evasiveness is now the new black, with Mars, the planet of ambition, moving into watery, emotional, defensive & security conscious Cancer. This will mean the stirring up of a lot of passive aggressive behavior, so get those meds ready, this could be one giant mind fuck 'til 9/18.

Yes, when you mix something hard (Mars) with something so soft (Cancer), clashes can happen, but most of the time they will be internal. While you can still move ahead, as this is also a cycle when nothing except what you truly give a shit about will motivate you, think of it as a truth seeking mission and see where your heart leads... As for general ideas of where you'll get your kicks, the list is as follows:

Aries: Hide out at home and throw away the key. Who needs friends, when you have cable?
Taurus: Tweet your brains out, who doesn't love one-sided conversations?
Gemini: Make money your whore, use it up to get off.
Cancer: Who cares who's right? It's the most bombastic that wins, so make tyranny your way of life!
Leo: As the sign of the actor, play the victim now for recognition and rewards.
Virgo: Why do your own dirty work, isn't that what friends are for?
Libra: Burn more fat, social climb faster!
Scorpio: Skip out to a foreign adventure. If they can't understand you, how can you be wrong?
Sagittarius: You'll be feeling extra horny, own it.
Capricorn: Enjoy partnerships, as it means always having a scapegoat close to your heart.
Aquarius: Whining is an exercise, if you do it right.
Pisces: It is all about you and anyone who doesn't act accordingly is lying to you.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo

Stop the presses!!!!!!!!!!!

Expect life to get a bit more twisted over the next  24 days, because yes, that tri-annual event called Mercury retrograde begins today at 11:50pm EST, which many of you know is the time in which communication breakdowns are prevalent, untimely travel snafus pop up, delays in getting a commitment happen and people from the past can suddenly reappear. It's a plethora of aggravating  issues that can be set off, but mainly linked to those following issues...and since this Rx is in detailed-orientated and efficient Virgo, it means you must do your homework in regard to upcoming plans, as in sweating the small stuff and ensuring every minor detail is in place to move ahead... Of course, that ensures nothing either, as obstacles will happen as part of fate, but to do all you can to minimize the agony is possible...So, for those areas to batten down those hatches, the list is as follows:

Aries: health, dealings with co-workers, routines
Taurus: romance, creativity, risks involving your ego
Gemini: family, business, home
Cancer: communications, dealings with siblings, travel
Leo: money, comfort, stability
Virgo: vanity, new projects, general outlook
Libra: the past, reality (versus illusions), subconscious fears
Scorpio: friendships, hopes and wishes, the future
Sagittarius: status, career, traditions
Capricorn: truth, spirituality, global matters
Aquarius: power, sex, finances
Pisces: relationships, contracts, peace of mind

...but do know, despite all the headaches that can appear, good can come out of Rx's too, as in pulling out things from your past and reworking them, as this is the time to examine what you have and work it into perfection, as nothing you wish for has to be a lost cause. So, despite the chaos, understand there is an eye of the storm you can relax in, but only if you choose.