Monday, June 21, 2010

Sun enters Cancer, the summer solstice

Drop the excuses and party!

Summer is officially on and it’s time to let loose! With the sun entering Cancer at 7:29 AM today EST, that means the perfect time to take note of what each of us needs to do to ensure a fabulous season. Here it is, my sign-by-sign guide on how to align yourself with the stars for maximum pleasure and make summer 2010 your hottest and happiest!

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Turn over a new leaf in all areas of your life, as new is your new black. This also means allowing others to take care of you, because this time around they won’t fuck it up. Woohoo for humanity!

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Put the past to rest for good by letting your mouth run and dropping all your emotional baggage right on the toes of those people that have walked over you the most. Savor the taste of revenge!

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Keep it social and don’t be scared to spend your cash. These good times will be priceless and make your memoirs worth the read.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Whatever it takes to get you to the top, do it! Winning is your aphrodisiac, so screw being humble for another day.

Leo (July 23- August 22)
Who cares about logic, as it’s only holding you back now. Go ahead; follow your escapist tendencies, as you’ll learn Utopia does exists if take that giant leap of faith over to it.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Sharing skeletons in your closets now will be badass and make you quite the queen of your scene. Seems your depravities will be just what will make others worship you more.

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Who cares how co-dependent you want to be, as going full force into Siamese twin status and working as a team will get you the brass ring of your dreams now.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Change up your routines by using your passport as much as possible. It’s no longer about whom you know, but whom you have yet to know.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Start a new spiritual journey that has you getting deeper in touch with your most intimate relationships and discover a few more g-spots than you first counted.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Sign on the dotted line and set your anchor down, as you’ll finally start to see the worst of the shit storms are behind you and that karma really isn’t out to torture the hell out of you anymore.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
Fuck consequences, as it’s variety that’ll float your boat the most — and remember, you aren’t responsible for anyone other than yourself and as long as you can sleep at night, who cares?

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Rules are for assholes that have no self-control or a brain to juggle common sense to their favor. For you, skip out on them and forge your own path, as that’ll be what brings you your jackpot.