Sunday, December 25, 2011

Jupiter goes direct in Taurus

Happy days are here again!

After four long months, Jupiter, the planet of luck, is moving forward again and setting up a more fluid path to happiness, as in no more heavy interruptions that make you have to question every step or make you work harder for the carrot at the end of the stick. Yes, happy days are here again!

Sing along:
Chorus:
Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
Let us sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again
Altogether shout it now!
There's no one who can doubt it now
So let's tell the world about it now
Happy days are here again
Your cares and troubles are gone;
There'll be no more from now on
Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
Let us sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again

So long sad times!
Go long bad times!
We are rid of you at last
Howdy gay times!
Cloudy gray times,
You are now a thing
Of the past, cause:

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Venus enters Aquarius

Plug in and let go!

Aquarius is the sign of electricity and kink, so how apropos that today, at almost the exact minute that Venus, the pleasure planet, slipped into this freaky sign, I got a fab delivery from Babeland! Yes, lucky me got a bag of new toys from Kandi Burruss's fab new sex toy line, Bedroom Kandi! In my bag I got Kandi Kisses, a discreet vibe in the shape of a lipstick, and Happiness and Joy, a rabbit like vibe that syncs with my ipod. You know it, convenience in which you never have to be tardy for the party!

....Okay, so down to business, road testing! Obviously, with Kandi Kisses being the easiest to use, that baby got whipped out first. Not only is it discreet and soooo cute, but it's also eco-friendly, with USB rechargeability that lasts up to two hours!!! Plus, it's also made of a safe silicone and has several speeds to go at it, along with a silence that makes your private moments truly private...As for usage, LOVE IT! As a machine all about the clit, Kandi Kisses gets the job done and quickly. My only complaint was that its slim compactness does make you have to work a bit harder to get it going, as in circling all about, but that is probably just me, as I can be a lazy little fuck. However, for the travel size that it comes in, this little baby will be quite helpful on adventures in which discretion is welcome.


Now, onto the big bad girl named Happiness and Joy, one lean machine of pleasure that offers more options than premium cable TV and hours more of stimulation that is for body and mind. Of course, I will preface this with the fact I am a rather primal lady when it comes to getting off and reading all the instructions was a bit overwhelming. Thankfully, my friend Jay had the attention to sort it all out, as in how to sync up the ipod with the device--which is through a remote, not an actual piece that you also have to drag into the bed or wherever you choose to get it on, and additionally there are lots of speeds and options to work from. Ultimately, I learned I was a just a meat and potatoes girl when it came down to using this Mercedes-Benz of vibes, as I preferred it in automatic gear with consistency. While there is still many more memories to be made and facets to explore, I doubt I'll be working too hard to find them all, as the simplest method of this extraordinary machine did the trick for me and for that, I say, "Bonsai," and Hallelujah! However, while I might be a lazy fuck, it doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be and if you are not like me, then this toy will keep your occupied for hours! Of course, variety is the spice of life and I do appreciate it all, so hoorah for Happiness and Joy's limitless potential, as it'll never bore me.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Full Moon Eclipse in Gemini

"Search your feelings, you know them to be true." Darth Vader

Welcome to your new life, as it's Full Moon Eclipse in Gemini time, which means the rug can get pulled out from under you in a majorly dramatic way, twisting you into a position you never thought you would have to be in. Yes, the truth will sting now, as the ones that can come now are going to be unexpected and uncalled for, but something you may have known already deep down inside...as for the most significant places you can get rocked...

Aries: Mind fucks with siblings
Taurus: Mind fucks with money
Gemini: Mind fucks with your image
Cancer: Mind fucks with the past
Leo: Mind fucks with friends
Virgo: Mind fucks with career
Libra: Mind fucks with your idea of truth
Scorpio: Mind fucks with your self control
Sagittarius: Mind fucks with partnerships
Capricorn: Mind fucks with logic
Aquarius: Mind fucks with your ego
Pisces: Mind fucks with your stability

Uranus Direct in Aries

Lead by example to start the revolution. Sa da tay!

Pootie Tang

(Double click onto the screen for full view.)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Venus enters Capricorn

Money can buy love

Capricorn has no shame in loving money, so celebrate the season of Venus in Capricorn by lavishing yourself with something $$$, because money can buy love... As for which gift would be most condoned by the stars, the list is as follows... 



Aries
: Anything designer
Taurus: A plane ticket
Gemini: Lingerie
Cancer: Art
Leo: Something for your pet
Virgo: Tickets to a performance
Libra: Estate jewelry
Scorpio: A fun mini getaway
Sagittarius: 4-star dinners
Capricorn: Spa treatments
Aquarius: Shoes
Pisces: Whatever techno gadget

Friday, November 25, 2011

New Moon Partial Solar Eclipse In Sagittarius

Whaaaaat????

Get ready for a big ball of truth to plop into your life and give you an eye opening experience of the very interesting kind. Yes, this is no joke when it comes to New Moon Solar Eclipses, even if they are partial, as Sagittarius never does anything without a punch. So, as the sign of truth, epiphany, adventure and spontaneity align in the skies in such a magical way, expect results. As for what each sign can expect? A shot of spirit and awakening in these various areas:

Aries:
Your higher self

Taurus: Your sexiest self
Gemini: Your most balanced self
Cancer: Your most efficient self
Leo: Your most confident self
Virgo:Your sweetest self
Libra: Your most communicative self
Scorpio:Your most comfortable self
Sagittarius:Your ideal self
Capricorn: Your inner self
Aquarius: Your most giving self
Pisces: Your most ambitious self

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Sun enters Sagittarius

Make the world your home!

I've got a Gemini rising and 4 planets in Sagittarius, which means I can't resist filling out questionnaires that tell me about me....My latest discovery, creating maps on where I've been...One of my plans, to visit every state in the U.S. and get to every continent....So far...


Kiki visited 18 states (8%)
Create your own visited map of The World or

visited 40 states (80%)
Create your own visited map of The United States 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Full Moon in Taurus

Spoil yourself rotten!

When you have full moon in Taurus lighting up the sky, it means time to settle into your skin and give it what it wants. As the ruler of sensuality, Taurus is all about marinating in what makes you feel good, as in seeing, smelling, touching, tasting and hearing. So whatever it is that puts you in your element, do it, as that is what full moons are about: indulging, celebrating and sharing (and good for up to two weeks)! As for the best ideas per sign in areas to splurge, the list is as follows:

Aries: Buy something expensive and decadent.
Taurus:
Do whatever you want. You get the cosmic free pass to abandon all rules and eat, drink and be merry!
Gemini:
Dance all night and sleep all day.
Cancer:
Enjoy everyone you know, everywhere you go.
Leo:
Throw your power around.
Virgo:
Book an exotic vacation or take one now!
Libra:
Screw until his balls (or something) falls off.
Scorpio:
Do everything that makes you feel beautiful.
Sagittarius:
Hit a spa!
Capricorn:
Let love rule!
Aquarius:
Embrace your inner homebody.
Pisces:
Let your mouth run wild.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Mars enters Virgo

Waste not, want now. 

Mars in Virgo means no fucking around and because it is staying put in one sign for an EPIC STAY of over 8 months (now until July 3, 2012), this time around it'll also mean NO EXCUSES. 

Yes, Mars, the planet of passion, sex, ambition and all out intensity typically stays in a sign for no more than a month and half, but this time around it's going to take its sweet ass time to help all turn it out with all the bells and whistles, because this truly will be a period about getting it perfect.

So, with no time or anything to waste, go and conquer...
Aries:
Organizing, Quantifying, Gaining

Taurus: Loving, Creating, Risking
Gemini: Nurturing, Establishing, Belonging 
Cancer: Expressing, Learning, Relating
Leo:  Spending, Saving, Enjoying
Virgo: Trusting, Thinking, Leading
Libra: Believing, Understanding, Mystifying
Scorpio: Giving, Hoping, Revolutionizing
Sagittarius: Striving, Achieving, Solidifying
Capricorn: Idealizing, Exploring, Expanding
Aquarius: Delving, Sacrificing, Possessing
Pisces: Committing, Balancing, Unifying

Neptune goes direct

WAKE UP CUPCAKE!!!!! 

Happy times are here again, now that Neptune, the planet of delusion, victimization and all out loss of reality is moving forward, and saving ourselves from ourselves. You know it, an all out bonanza of energy to propel us onto new ideals, dreams, positive thinking and hopefully some good karma too. Sure, this might just be switching up one illusion for another, but at least now fate may be a bit kinder...

As for what each sign should know, in terms of dreaming a little farther and aspiring a bit higher, it is as follows -- because as it so happens, this forward motion ho of Neptune will be the last spin around in quirky Aquarius, which it's been since January 29, 1998 and until February 3, 2012, and then never again to return for another 165 years (approximately). So, pay attention...

Aries: It's not that you want to tell everyone what to do, it's that you must.
Taurus: It's great to feel great, especially when doing nothing makes you feel great.
Gemini: You make total sense all the time.
Cancer: It's like you just get everyone...you just know.
Leo: They really can't stop staring at you.
Virgo:  You are smarter than everyone.
Libra: Everybody likes you.
Scorpio: Everybody wants to be you.
Sagittarius:  Everyone believes everything you say.
Capricorn: There is no such thing as expensive for the likes of you.
Aquarius: Own your superpowers now.
Pisces: You are the most generous person this world has known.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Mercury enters Sagittarius

Think fast; think deep...

Koyaanisqatsi

Venus enters Sagittarius

Love isn't love without the adventure, idealism and most of all, the laughs.

Arthur
One of my favorite movies, as I just love Arthur (and NEVER the remake -- as it's blasphemy to even think of that version!!!)...I too can never resist a drive through the park or a funny modern fairy tale with a Peter Pan type...and it just so happens to be a fortune telling machine at a beach once told me my perfect celebrity love would be Dudley Moore. So true, as my Venus in Sagittarius just can't resist a man that can make me laugh...

(FYI, double click on the screen to get the full view and to watch in its entirety, when the site says time limit is up, just turn your modem off and on to see the rest.)

As for a more insight into Venus in Sag, click here, and go back in time to read the last Venus in Sagittarius post and what it means per sign....However, note this Venus in Sagittarius transit will last until Nov. 26. Not a lot of time, but always enough.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sun enters Scorpio

Give with everything you've got...


For full movie, with no breaks, click here for more streaming options.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Mercury enters Scorpio

There is more than meets the eye...

Shhhhh...Mercury has just slipped into secretive and mysterious Scorpio until November 2. So, as it goes, it means time to start keeping your thoughts and plans on the DL, and using a heavy hand in strategy to get by, as it will mean digging deeper for answers and holding tighter your tongue.

Yup, consider this phase a mental game of all or nothing, where nothing is quite as it seems and all that does meet the eye can merely be a display of smoke and mirrors. So, to get to the heart of anything now, it'll mean obsession, as in keeping a one-track mind with only having eyes on the prize. If you really want it, it means your mind will not stray from the duties at hand, as it will take 110% dedication and pledging allegiance to wanting to not only win, but have those enemies lose!

As for areas per sign to reshuffle the brain into total absorption, for maximum results, here it is:

Aries: Sex, power, money and magic can all be in your pocket now, but not if you spill the beans. Think of demure as your new black.
Taurus: If you want to really see who you can trust, give them enough rope to hang themselves and see what they do. You may be amazed at those results.
Gemini: There is no end to research and if you think there is, then you're missing something.
Cancer: Having fun and indulging in pleasure is not a diversion from progress, if you're doing it right.
Leo: Roots only come with cultivation. Hoe. Hoe. Hoe.
Virgo: It's not what another says that matters now, it's what they leave out. Read in-between those lines!
Libra: Money is power, not more debt.
Scorpio: Me, myself and I. Think it, be it, love it, live it. You're always right (Well, until Nov. 2).
Sagittarius: Don't let signs go unnoticed. The world is communicating to you in mysterious ways, so pay close attention.
Capricorn: Who cares who you know, unless they actually call you back.
Aquarius: Heavy is the head that wears the crown improperly.
Pisces: Bigger is better, and that also applies to honesty too.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Full Moon in Aries

Celebrating the pioneering spirit!

An inspiring story of determination and leadership -- Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, AKA Lula, the President of Brazil from January 1, 2003 – December 31, 2010, who lead the country to becoming one of the fastest growing economies in the world, is considered the most popular leader in Brazilian history, brought in his successor -- Brazil's first female President, Dilma Rousseff, and started out illiterate until the age of 10, completing his formal education only until the 4th grade due to needing to help support his family...and a Scorpio!

(FYI: Start at 4:40 if you want to get right to it...but the entire segment is interesting.)

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Venus enters Scorpio

Love without boundaries.

Hold onto your knickers, because Venus has just entered Scorpio! Yes, this is a high intensity time all the way, 24-7, and if whatever is making you feel the love doesn't also have the power to destroy you, then according to the laws of Venus in Scorpio, it isn't worth it and time to reconsider where you are going with it -- as that is how this transit rolls. It's all or nothing.

So, with this in mind, understand love means much more than holding hands now, as in diving deeper into the depths of your soul and scouring up every bit of who you are, and pledging it all to that in which you love, as it is only with this as your prerequisite that you have any chance of emotional success...which means, if you aren't feeling it, this period of time will only emphasize its need for a demise.

However, you do have now until November 2nd to get to the bottom of whatever compels you or uncover a thing or two that can suddenly do so, as this phase is also about secrets being revealed and discovering the magnitude of your intensity and willingness to commitment -- and not because you have to, but because you must, because the passion burns so strong inside you that you can't do anything else, but submit...

As for those areas per sign in which to let down the barricades and let passion wake or waste you, it is as follows...

Aries: Enters the dark side, as it's only going into deepest part of your psyche and living out your freaky fantasies that will satiation you now. Power, money, sex, live it, love it, be it.

Taurus:
Two heads are better than one. Some call it co-dependence, to you it's love. Why have it anyone other way when it feels so good?


Gemini: Give until you can't give anymore. If this means non-stop speed dialing, so be it. Attentiveness never killed anyone.
 
Cancer: You have a flair for romance, so wear it on your sleeve. As it goes, this is your time to indulge in everything that makes you feel good and sometimes that will mean choreographing all the scenes to fit your needs.

Leo: It's about building foundations and having your security now. If this means claiming total possession, well at the least, 9/10s is considered the law.
 
Virgo: Some call it obsession, but you know it as learning. Nothing like gathering as much information as possible, as it is the fuel to your fire.

Libra: Nothing personifies passion like the act of giving or getting something with a gigantic price tag -- either literally or metaphorically.

Scorpio: It's not just that you win, it's that others lose. Get what you deserve, as in what you want and all rights to gloat over your haters.

Sagittarius: It's your world and others are just in it for your amusement. If it means banishing them at your will, so be it.

Capricorn: It's all about who you know and having power in numbers, so don't be scared to spread that love of yours around.

Aquarius:  All work and no play can be quite a drag, so make fun at work and multitask for pleasure and profit.

Pisces: The language of love is universal, but only if you speak it properly.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

New Moon in Libra

Wow, how pretty!

Somewhere in the skies of planet Earth last night, along with the New Moon in Libra, the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) was lighting up the sky -- a phenomenon that occurs only in the higher latitudes of our world, mostly during Spring and Autumn. (Click to the link up above to learn all the scientific info about it)...I have always wanted to see the Aurora Borealis and ages ago went to Iceland to chase it in the skies, but due to foggy weather, didn't see squat. No matter, until I get that chance again, I'll always have youtube...

Highlights of the Aurora Borealis from around the world (Don't worry, I only chose ones without the cheesy musical interludes...However, the third choice was unavoidable, as the video images are amazing -- so prepare perhaps with hitting mute before hand, although it's not totally crazy cheesy, but minorly so):







Sunday, September 25, 2011

Mercury in Libra

...but, what do you think?

When dealing with anything Libra, forthright action is rarely ever part of the deal. As the sign of balance, harmony and prettiness, sweating it is never part of the equation. Not to say Libra doesn't have its own brand of intensity, but it's the kind that includes civility. So, as Mercury gets hit by this power until 10/13, keep in mind it might just be more effective now to ride that middle lane because in the long run, it'll give you the energy and perhaps the positioning to get you what you ultimately need. As for tips on how to ensure that peace, love and happy thinking, here is a crash course on conflict resolution and mediation to get you by...

...To help us get a grip on wheeling and dealing for maximum rewards, for all parties involved, I have wrangled in a special guest star for today, to school us on this very interesting subject. It's my worldly and wonderful friend Brad Heckman, who just happens to be a professional mediator that has worked all over the world, and who I am so proud of -- as he just founded and is the CEO of the new non-profit New York Peace Institute, in addition to being an Adjunct Professor at NYU’s Center for Global Affairs and all round fab guy.

Anyway, take it away Brad:

















Friday, September 23, 2011

Sun enters Libra

Peace be with you...

Balance, we all want it, few of us ever master it...but in the scheme of things, why freak out? Time is a continuum. Einstein thought so, Stephen Hawking too, and could such geniuses that do their research be wrong? Likely not, so lesson of the day: chill out.


Into The Universe With Stephen Hawking-Time... by ttblog

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Mars in Leo

You're a winner!!!!

Mars is all about action and Leo is all about ego, so now until Nov. 10th will be all about going after what you want with full-on narcissism fueling the ride! Yes, whatever you want to believe, whatever you want to happen, you are in full control--as this is the time to erase, "No," from your memory and move ahead accordingly. As for places that will get the biggest boosts for your efforts, per sign:

Aries: love
Taurus: family
Gemini: communications
Cancer: money
Leo: leadership
Virgo: peace of mind
Libra: friendships
Scorpio: career
Sagittarius: adventure
Capricorn: sex
Aquarius: partner
Pisces: health

Mars in Leo theme song:

Friday, September 16, 2011

Pluto goes direct in Capricorn

...and the answer is...

Fate has a funny way of working things out and this week, it'll start taking care of business in much more powerful way, as Pluto, the (dwarfed) planet of sex, death, birth and transformation goes back into forward gear!!!! 

Yes, since April 9th, Pluto has been going retrograde in Capricorn, muddling up information and making it a bit more difficult to know what and who you can trust, as the whole idea of structure came into question. However, now with Pluto moving forward again, you can expect a loosening up of the collar of sorts, as mysteries won't seem as dark and hazy...and as for the area in which you shall see an ah-ha moment, they are as follows:

Aries: Career, Dealings with authority, Your reputation
Taurus: Truth, Morals, Faith
Gemini: Power, Sex, Secrets
Cancer: Partnerships, Justice, Commitment
Leo: Daily routines, Self-improvement, Service to others
Virgo: Romance, Pride issues, Leisure
Libra: Home, Family, Business
Scorpio: Communications, Community, Dealings with siblings
Sagittarius: Your values system,  personal feelings of self-worth, comfort
Capricorn: Motivation, Self-image, Independence
Aquarius: The Past, Psychological issues, Karma
Pisces: Friendships,  Ideas in regard to your future, Hopes and dreams

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Venus enters Libra

Ooooh, feels so good...

 















When any planet goes into the position where it rules, like today's Venus move into Libra, life should get dandier, at least by a small degree -- but when it's Venus, the planet of love, beauty, comfort and harmony, it means the feelings should be spectacular! 

Yes, if you've been playing your cards right and being more nice than naughty, then this is the time when the universe will be more willing to work with you, to reward you for efforts well done. Of course, if you've been less than honest, this is when justice gets served. So, as for the places you shall see a lift in spirits or a leveling of the playing field from now until October 9th, it is as follows:

Aries: partnerships, commitment, beauty
Taurus: organization, routine, work associates
Gemini: romance, creativity, fun
Cancer: home, family, security
Leo: short trips, learning, communicating
Virgo: material comforts, generosity, sensuality
Libra: confidence, leadership, ingenuity
Scorpio: dealings with the past, dreams, imagination
Sagittarius: hopes and dreams, friendships, revolution
Capricorn: status, recognition, responsibility
Aquarius: spirituality, world travel, truth
Pisces: power, sex, transformation

Monday, September 12, 2011

Full Moon in Pisces, My Natal 10th!

JACKPOT!

I love anytime Pisces is in the air -- as it hits my natal 10th (career) and my solar 5th (love)! Today, it hit it in a big way, as I debuted two new columns -- so check them out!

At über fab fashion blog, Refinery 29, I wrote lifestyle horoscopes for Fashion Week:
http://www.refinery29.com/refinery29-horoscopes-for-your

Then at Astrology.com, where I write a daily pop culture blog called Astrogossip, I debuted my astrological advice column, Sex Signs:
http://www.astrology.com/sex-signs-wanna-swing/2-d-d-381339

...and as for what a full moon in Pisces it all about in the general sense, it means celebrating an end of a cycle -- as Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and a full moon signifies a completion -- so karma, karma, karma will be the theme for everyone! This can mean waiting for it or going after it and making some... To set you in the right mood, here's the perfect theme song for the occasion -- if not lyrically, at least musically! So, dance, dance, dance it out, until you're feeling the rejuvenation...

Friday, September 9, 2011

Mercury enters Virgo

Hmm, that's interesting.

Ok, I'm totally lame. It is actually Sept. 23rd today (the second to last day of the Mercury in Virgo transit) and this post was suppose to be written for Sept. 9th -- and the thing is, I was SUPER EXCITED about this day too, but then things spiraled on and off the priority list and voila, two weeks later...

Anyway, what this post is about: my fab experience in Asbury Park, New Jersey, at one of my favorite places ever -- Paranormal Books and Curiosities, in attendance for a SEANCE!!!!

Although I've been to seances before, none were the cinematic version that I craved. My first was when I was in high school, during the summer, when I tried to host one. My friend's mom was out of town, so we threw a party, which I then held a seance for anyone who wanted in on. I had bought some trade paperback book on how to hold a seance and only read the summary in the back at that point -- so, as you can tell, it was an obvious invitation for trouble.

By the time the evening got late enough, I assembled a circle outside, under a tree and then had every one close their eyes and concentrate on calling a spirit and said whatever the directions I read said to say. Enough minutes later, nothing was happening, so I then screamed, to freak the shit out of everyone. My one really scared friend sitting across from me, then instantly jumped the entire length of the circle and then a moment later, a branch fell from the tree and we then all got freaked out, immediately ending the seance. Then the next morning, I woke up with a bloody nose. After that, I thought it was best I never hold another seance again -- at least not without really reading the entire book on it...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Jupiter goes retrograde in Taurus

Come again?


It's the tail end of summer here in Kiki-ville, so trying to stay on top of everything has been a bit more hectic. Throw in an earthquake, hurricane, a massive stream of deadlines, negotiations, random appointments, only a few more days of perfect beach weather and an inability to be an early bird, and well, you have me aligned to work at retrograde speed -- but this time around, it's Jupiter's bump into reverse...

However, since Jupiter is the planet of luck and expansion, despite it hauling its fat ass backwards, it doesn't mean anything bad or as intense as say, a Mercury retrograde. Jupiter is always benevolent, so this mode merely transforms the energy around into a more internal form, and one that may also bring the past back into relevance, but in a positive way... 

So, as it goes, this is the exact list given for Jupiter in Taurus, as in what it would bring in terms of luck for each sign. Keep this in mind until December 25, because until then these will be the same areas in line for a change in trajectory, as in reaching within you for realizations and reactions that will bring the satisfaction...

Aries (March 21-April 19): Money, Possessions, Security
Taurus (April 20- May 20): Overall Luck In All Areas, New Beginnings, Taking Risks
Gemini (May 21- June 20): Psychic Hunches, Dealings With Your Past, Creating Your Legacy
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Associates And Friendships, Your Wildest Dreams, Technology
Leo (July 23- August 22): Career, Fame, Respect
Virgo (August 23- September 22): International Dealings, Higher Education, Spiritual Pursuits
Libra (September 23- October 22: Sex, Power, Money
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Commitment (love &/or career), Balance, Beauty
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Health, Work, Results
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Love, Creativity, The Spotlight
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Real Estate, Family, Business
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Travel, Learning, Media

Sunday, August 28, 2011

New Moon in Virgo

Whistle while you work...

Don't get lazy!
The new moon in prissy and perfect Virgo is here to say, "Get you ass into gear, because fall is just around the corner and it's the harvest season, so hope you're ready to start putting your ducks in order, because this is when organization and purpose will matter or else you'll be in for one long-ass winter..."

As for areas to get it together for the next two weeks, for maximum results, here it is per sign:


Aries: Focusing on making routines that help move you ahead.
Taurus: Sprucing up your inner go-getter with a better, more ego-driven attitude.
Gemini: Coming back down to earth for some grounding, in general.
Cancer: Using words to put together pieces of your puzzle, not just intuition.
Leo: Chilling out, and letting fate do some of the work.
Virgo: Being assertive and putting yourself first.
Libra: Knowing better than to let past mistakes happen over and over again.
Scorpio: Believing in others, and giving them a real chance.
Sagittarius: Redefining success on your terms.
Capricorn: Saying, "Screw the status quo; its for suckers."
Aquarius: Digging deeper beyond the surface, as nothing important will be obvious now.
Pisces: Getting that two heads are truly better than one, so reach out.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mercury goes direct in Virgo

Don't count those chicken quite yet...

A shark swimming in the streets of Puerto Rico post hurricane!
Ahhhh, not a minute to rest with Mother Nature going at it. Now, a hurricane alert! Hurricane Irene, a category 2 (then downgraded to 1) is heading right for NYC this Saturday!!! The first total MTA shut down of the world's largest public transit system in history!!!!! And the first ever mandatory evacuation in coastal and low-lying areas of NYC!!!!!

Of course, being that it is New York Fucking City, seems the fear is far outweighed by the annoyance factor over inconvenience. For example, at 6:30 pm today, riding my bike across 14th St. there were no out of the ordinary lines at the groceries, but the line into a liquor store was around the corner.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sun in Virgo

It'll make sense soon...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, today a 5.9 earthquake shook NYC. At that time, I happen to be at my desk, writing my lil horoscopes when my apartment started shaking. Since my building shakes all the time, being close to two bridges, at first it didn't seem like a big deal. I just thought it was heavier traffic or some kind of construction. Only when it went on longer and a little more intense did I get what was going on...

To confirm, I tried Googling to find out, but it wasn't even news yet and no tweets either...I then stuck my head out the door to look around, but all the other buildings around me looked still, but still my building was shaking...Either or, I did know whatever I was doing wasn't what I should of been doing and even after I realized I was suppose to do something, I had to no clue what it was, but before it were to happen, I did know one thing: I wanted to change outfits before doing it, because if I was only going to have one outfit in the world, it wasn't going to be the one I had on...but by the time I made it to my closet (and not because my apartment is so spacious), the shaking stopped...One day, my vanity is going to kill me.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Venus enters Virgo

True love works in funny ways...

Dogs in Space
One of my favorite movies of all time!!!!! I lived and breathed to have my life be just like this when I was a little angst-ridden teen that only longed to be so punk rock. lol. No, seriously, I did do it in my own little colorful way and this movie was the outline for everything I thought was cool. I still love this movie to death and will always fondly remember reciting the lines of it with my friends over and over again when we weren't watching it over and over again....ahhh, true love is beautiful!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Mercury enters Leo

Self-obsession begins today.

According to a quiz on Psych Central, I am a narcissist.

Next day: I retook the test and I am no longer a narcissist...I suppose PMS is making me more humble...although I'm still having superiority issues...However, no one I know thinks of me this way...or so they tell me...

Conclusion: It's only narcissism if you're boring or annoying, as its only really a disorder if those around you suffer for it...or only befriend enablers.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Neptune retrogrades into Aquarius

One last time 2 fight lame social norms & infuse some ingenuity, kick fake friends 2 the curb & embrace the future bravely...

Mean Girls! (The streaming version, complete with Russian subtitles!)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mars in Cancer

Evasiveness is now the new black...

Get ready, as evasiveness is now the new black, with Mars, the planet of ambition, moving into watery, emotional, defensive & security conscious Cancer. This will mean the stirring up of a lot of passive aggressive behavior, so get those meds ready, this could be one giant mind fuck 'til 9/18.

Yes, when you mix something hard (Mars) with something so soft (Cancer), clashes can happen, but most of the time they will be internal. While you can still move ahead, as this is also a cycle when nothing except what you truly give a shit about will motivate you, think of it as a truth seeking mission and see where your heart leads... As for general ideas of where you'll get your kicks, the list is as follows:

Aries: Hide out at home and throw away the key. Who needs friends, when you have cable?
Taurus: Tweet your brains out, who doesn't love one-sided conversations?
Gemini: Make money your whore, use it up to get off.
Cancer: Who cares who's right? It's the most bombastic that wins, so make tyranny your way of life!
Leo: As the sign of the actor, play the victim now for recognition and rewards.
Virgo: Why do your own dirty work, isn't that what friends are for?
Libra: Burn more fat, social climb faster!
Scorpio: Skip out to a foreign adventure. If they can't understand you, how can you be wrong?
Sagittarius: You'll be feeling extra horny, own it.
Capricorn: Enjoy partnerships, as it means always having a scapegoat close to your heart.
Aquarius: Whining is an exercise, if you do it right.
Pisces: It is all about you and anyone who doesn't act accordingly is lying to you.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Mercury goes retrograde in Virgo

Stop the presses!!!!!!!!!!!

Expect life to get a bit more twisted over the next  24 days, because yes, that tri-annual event called Mercury retrograde begins today at 11:50pm EST, which many of you know is the time in which communication breakdowns are prevalent, untimely travel snafus pop up, delays in getting a commitment happen and people from the past can suddenly reappear. It's a plethora of aggravating  issues that can be set off, but mainly linked to those following issues...and since this Rx is in detailed-orientated and efficient Virgo, it means you must do your homework in regard to upcoming plans, as in sweating the small stuff and ensuring every minor detail is in place to move ahead... Of course, that ensures nothing either, as obstacles will happen as part of fate, but to do all you can to minimize the agony is possible...So, for those areas to batten down those hatches, the list is as follows:

Aries: health, dealings with co-workers, routines
Taurus: romance, creativity, risks involving your ego
Gemini: family, business, home
Cancer: communications, dealings with siblings, travel
Leo: money, comfort, stability
Virgo: vanity, new projects, general outlook
Libra: the past, reality (versus illusions), subconscious fears
Scorpio: friendships, hopes and wishes, the future
Sagittarius: status, career, traditions
Capricorn: truth, spirituality, global matters
Aquarius: power, sex, finances
Pisces: relationships, contracts, peace of mind

...but do know, despite all the headaches that can appear, good can come out of Rx's too, as in pulling out things from your past and reworking them, as this is the time to examine what you have and work it into perfection, as nothing you wish for has to be a lost cause. So, despite the chaos, understand there is an eye of the storm you can relax in, but only if you choose.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

New Moon in Leo

Entertain yourself...

Loud-out-loud hilarity! ...Our faces felt stretched out from laughing the entire time!



To watch in full, here is a streaming link: Bridesmaids.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Mercury in Virgo

Think for results...

I love my friend Sherene. Not only is she a dynamic Scorpio lady that is also a fellow astrologiste (She co-writes the horoscopes for Elle UK and the must-have Surviving Saturn's Return... In fact, it was Sherene who way back in the day taught me all about the Saturn Return!), she's also a Jungian psychoanalyst and a belly dancer!

40 days is when the first signs of brain activity can be recorded!
...Anyway, I love when we hang out because it usually involves lots of paella, sangria, tarot cards, laughs and major epiphanies. (Yes, we both have a lot of Sagittarius in us too. She is a Sag rising and I have 4 planets in that winsome and wacky sign!)...Anywhoo, last night she was telling me about her latest endeavor, Project 40, where she puts something of her life on the "altar" in which she is seeking a resolution too. Then, for 40 days (which she chose due to its metaphysical essence), she has a set series of tasks in which helps her draw up the clarity she needs to teach her whatever she needs to get to, in regard to what she puts on the altar...Yup, sounded interesting to me and her results were astonishing... So, as it goes with Mercury in Virgo, a mind is a terrible thing to waste; so here I go on my 40-day altar...and for those who want to join me and Sherene on the journey, here is what you need to do:

Have something in your life you want to put "on the altar." This could be clarity on your life's purpose, relationship issues, money, etc. It could be anything...then every day keep a journal or start a tumblr account (like Sherene has) and do and record these tasks:

Confession: Come to terms with something big or small per day, just free yourself of something.
Oracle: Draw a tarot card per day or use something to be an oracle. This can be opening your favorite book and pointing to a passage or pressing shuffle on your ipod and having the song that pops up represent something. It can also be some sign that comes to you per day and acknowledging it. Every day will be different, as who knows where messages can come from!
Sacrifice: Big or small, give up a bad habit for a day.
Relinquish: Let go of something per day, again big or little--from throwing away a pair of jeans to cutting your hair.
Inspiration: Find something every day that inspires you -- Sherene chose my notebook cover as her inspiration for today!
Exercise: Work your body every day in some way.
Structure: Write down all the things you do every day.

Then, hopefully in 40 days you'll find what you are looking for...

Venus in Leo

Let fantasy take you away...

LOVED IT!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sun in Leo II

HOTNESS!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Uruguay is the winner of the Copa America 2011!!!!!!!!! (Not a surprise after beating Argentina to go into the semifinals!!!!!)  ....AND OMG, they played the hottest game ever!!!!

Diego Forlán is pure hotness, savaging his reputation as the golden boy of the team by finally scoring a goal in the 42nd minute and then hauling ass and making the game insanely amazing by scoring a third point in the LAST MINUTE!!!! Yes, three generations of champion genes is in that boy!!!!! 

....and of course that Luis Suárez was on fire as always, as each of his goals were made in sheer perfection--especially that one he salvaged from Diego's attempt during the Peru match!!!!! I love a team that truly works together and can look so hot all the while.

...and boooo for the Paraguay goalie for winning best goalie of the tournament. Sure, glad the country finally won something, but Fernando Muslera kicked ass--and hello, Uruguay won the tournament! He made the win from Argentina possible--and those players are considered the top of the game!!! Plus, Fernando is HOTNESS PERSONIFIED! He reminds me of the cute Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye, but a straight and super-buff-in-just-the-right-way version...

Anyway, waaah to the end of the Copa America, but BONSAI to Uruguay winning and putting themselves in #1 place for wins of the Copa America with a record 15!!!!!!! La Celeste is the best!!!!!!!!!!! They make watching soccer fun, even if you don't know any of the rules (like me)--because with so much hotness, who cares how it's played, as long as its got flair!

Now here is my slideshow of the hotness that is La Celeste:
In order of appearance:
Diego Forlán (Taurus, the consummate gentleman)
Fernando Muslera (Gemini, the playful spark of excitement)
Sebastian Coates (Libra, the gracious charmer)
Diego Lugano (Scorpio, the steadfast and mysterious enigma)
Luis Suárez (Aquarius, the electric and kinetic force of nature)
Martín Cáceres (Aries, the winsome warrior)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Sun in Leo

Love is a losing game

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse (1983-2011)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

Uranus Retrograde 4.34

...and speaking of Uranus...

Of all asinine things I've been curious about, I've had a long curiosity about getting a colonic. Maybe because I’m a Scorpio, and it rules the excretory organs or maybe because I’m a sun and moon in the 6th house, and have a fascination with health and a commitment to being a germaphobe…. Whatever the case, it just sounds smart…but of course, I’m vain, so I needed a bigger motive to get on it, and that came by way of a convo at a party, when talking to girl that worked at a colonic clinic, that told me people lose weight from it and she even had someone drop close to 20 lbs after their first visit! Holy shit!!!! With that, I was sold!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Uranus goes retrograde in Aries

Rethink your evolution.


Uranus, the planet of enlightenment, popped into Aries way back on March 11, 2011, a move that it only makes about every 7 years--and to a place it was last seen approximately 84 years ago!!!! 

Yes, when this planet goes into motion, time to listen up and reevaluate your priorities--meaning, time to get back in the saddle of your life and sort out what you are doing to make it all about you in the most honest way--as Aries will also dictate you to do!  

....So, as this Rx continues until December 9, 2011, time to consider all the new lessons that have happened since March 11 and where to go with it all, as in rethinking your evolution and your place in the world....

Aries (March 21-April 19): Who you are? Who you want to be?
Taurus (April 20- May 20): What do you want your life to mean? What does it mean?
Gemini (May 21- June 20): What your hopes and dreams, and how far are you from therm?
Cancer (June 21-July 22): How high do you want to rise socially, and where have you come from?
Leo (July 23- August 22): What is your truth? Are you living it now?
Virgo (August 23- September 22): What gives you your power? Are you fully embracing it?
Libra (September 23- October 22):  Who do you want on your team? Do they know what you ask of them?
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): What is your natural rhythm? Are you listening to it?
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Are you properly expressing yourself? Are you really listening to yourself?
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): What is yours and what is conditioning? How authentic are you being?
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Are you still curious, and how are you still challenging yourself?
Pisces (February 20-March 20): What are your values, and are you living up to them?

Monday, July 4, 2011

Venus enters Cancer

Hold tighter to your fetishes.

Funny how time flies...It was about a year ago I realized I had a thing for soccer, getting all into The World Cup because it's like porn--and voila, today, during my break in-between holidays festivities, I realized the Copa America Argentina 2011 is on--and my favorite team is playing, Uruguay!!!!!!!!! Go Diego!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Usted tiene mi corazón!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


...and thank you youtube for livestreaming all the games!!!!
Me Gusta! Me Gusta!

Friday, July 1, 2011

New Moon in Cancer/Partial Solar Eclipse

...and it's over!

If you've had issues getting a solid sense of structure in your life since July 2009, with two steps back for every step forward, give yourself a big ole pat on the back because today you're done! Yes, all those changes in structure that happened in your life will finally settle in, to move you onto the next level, and along through destiny with another accomplishment under your belt and a stronger feeling of optimism towards the future...So, go ahead, breathe that sigh of relief, because the home stretch of arrival is here and happy times can strike in these areas as your reward:

Aries (March 21-April 19): roots, family, security
Taurus (April 20- May 20): community, curiosity, skills
Gemini (May 21- June 20): money, comfort, reliability
Cancer (June 21-July 22): confidence, control, ingenuity
Leo (July 23- August 22): karma, imagination, intuition
Virgo (August 23- September 22): friendships, fate, revolution
Libra (September 23- October 22): respect, accomplishment, success
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): freedom, truth, world domination
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): intimacy, metaphysical occurrences, magnetism
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): commitment, balance, elegance
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): purpose, focus, results
Pisces (February 20-March 20): romance, drama, extravagance

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sun in Cancer/Summer Solstice

When the cat's away....

...It's all fun and games, until someone gets run over and their head skinned...

















...Roadkill mania marking the first day of NYC summer, hoorah summer 2011! ...Hope this isn't an omen of things to come...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Mars enters Gemini

I love it. I hate it.

Forget trying to make up your mind or stay focused, because as it goes, whatever stimulates you at the moment is going to be what sets you into motion, in which ever way it wants, at whatever time it feels...You can love it. You can hate it. No matter, as it's all about tasting a bit of everything now, so do with your time what you will to quell curiosities and keep that brain aroused, as you never know where you might wind up and if there is anything you are going to love now, it's surprise!

...and as it goes, all things Gemini means there is a need to fidget and be curious, making time sucks  an inevitable part of life...so adding my two cents in on that subject, here are some of sites I've discovered that do just that, but in the most fun way possible!

Fave time-sucks:
http://celebrity.myheritage.com/FP/Company/try-face-recognition.php I just discovered this link and got sucked into it ASAP, loading various pics of myself and people I know....hours later...but I do have to say, the image  I posted here is from the first go at it, not the best of the bunch, which were all varied...As it goes, you upload pics of yourself and the site has some kind of facial recognition software that measures the spacing of your features, etc. and then analyzes it and tells you which celebs look the most like you! ...who would of known I'd be 67% similar to Mick Jagger?! Love it. Another pic I used paired me up with Naomi Campbell, Aishwarya Rai and Christy Turlington as look-alikes--whoohoo! Love this ego-boosting site, makes every second lost so worth it!

http://www.morphthing.com: Along the same lines of uploading a pic and getting an analysis, this one takes it further and allows you to morph with another -- anyone you choose, a celebrity or even an animal! Check out your future love child, or an alien version of yourself. 

http://picktheperp.com/: Love. This. Site. Hours of fun, testing your street-smarts to read others...I found I had a talent to pick out drug offenders, forgers, reckless drivers, murderers and wife-beaters. Yet another thing to put on the resume!

http://wordsmith.org/anagram: There is always so much more than meets the eye, and on this site it will dissect it down to the last letter! As you know, an anagram is a word or words made up from rearranging letters in a word or phrase. At this site, you can plug in names or names together to see what pops up, as it can reveal some interesting truths. Here are some famous anagrams: Leonardo da Vinci = Did color in nave; Florence Nightingale = Angel of the reclining; William Shakespeare = I'll make a wise phrase.

http://www.funeducation.com: Who doesn't love a good personality, IQ and skills test? While they can be long and some require you to register for results, it's time spent on learning about yourself a little bit better, so why not? Who knows, you might just be a genius and not know it! If anything, it will keep you busy or make you look busy for quite a while.

    Thursday, June 16, 2011

    Mercury enters Cancer, my 9th house

    Broadcasting optimism all over the world...

    Voila, here is my clip from last week's appearance on The Daily Connection, where I reveal which signs are the luckiest in love and who is the winner of the grand daddy prize of luckiest sign overall! ....and I also go through the entire zodiac and which areas of luck they will all get, but note, because they had to cram it all into a certain time, three signs did get edited out. So, if you are Libra, Sagittarius or Pisces, here are your areas of luck:

    Libra: sex, power, transformations of any sort
    Sagittarius: health, routines, dealings with co-workers
    Pisces: communications, learning new skills, travel--but short trips, like domestic travel or road trips.

    All others, hit play.