Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy sun aligns w/the planet of harshness, Saturn

Monsoon watch in effect. 

I fight with my bitterness a lot. I hate it, but that’s the truth. The older you get, the more humbled you become and the less inspired you are. It sucks, but what can you do? The point is to keep fighting to want to still believe, want to still hope and want to stay curious…but of course, spending much time in one's head can mean too many hours of space to fill thinking about everything that is self-defeating… Luckily, I’m a Gemini rising, so that means having two heads in one and being my own movable party. It makes it easy to do double duty in playing roles too, as in side-stepping into being my own babysitter — as in the person who has to constantly come up with tasks to keep me busy, while I can go off and do other things…because, if I am not busy, I’m a psychological thriller ready to happen.

My latest diversion? My own “Make A Wish” foundation.

I love the idea that nothing is a coincidence, and that everything happens for a reason…but I don’t necessarily believe there is a finite answer for every situation. It’s a question that always keeps me guessing and thinking about in various ways — like if nothing can ever be a mistake, then why not throw something positive into the wind and let it fall where it may while I’m bored? Who knows whose life it might change, make laugh, make think, make do? 

…Now, FF to my little pet project, where I’ll be writing a series of fortunes, putting them on mini parachutes and launching them off to see what happens…Whatever the case, I know I like throwing crap out windows, dispelling hope and keeping busy, so it's already a win... I know if that happened to me, as in walking down the street and had a message floating right down to me, for sure I'd get totally freaked (in a good way)…but that’s me, who knows how else the 99.9999999% of the world would feel? So here we go...

Update: The maiden voyage.
Waaah, this block sucks. There is never anything that happens here. It’s like a ghost town — even without the monsoon warnings. I thought this was New York Fucking City, not the prairie! …Anyway, did the launch and had it find who it may. At first it got stuck a floor below me,  then a gust of wind blew it off and started its descent. As it was about human grabbing level, just a few feet away a door opened and a mail lady stepped out of a building. She immediately saw it and could have caught it, but instead just watched it fall to the ground and then turned away.

First day results: Not all fortunes are meant to be and many others go to waste.