Saturday, April 23, 2011

Mercury goes direct in Aries

What's next????

Royal Wedding Mania Begins! Who would of ever thought this would effect my life, but sure enough, I had to break open that ephemeris, put on my best church hat and white gloves, and share my expertise on all things astrology, Wills and Kate....To catch what I have to say, tune into The Daily Connection, NBC, Channel 4, @12:30-1PM EST where I discuss: Are they compatible? When is the next heir to the throne going to pop out? And are they marrying on a lucky day???? (Click to the link above for times and channels outside the NYC area.)

...and if the mailman lost your invite to the royal wedding for this Friday, April, 29, 2011, well screw 'em. Who needs all that pomp and circumstance so early in the morning any how? Instead, in your best PJs and pearls, join me and my co-host Countess Luann deLesseps, (Yes, the Money Can't Buy You Class lady), as we chat away on a live stream commentary @iVillage.com/livechat of the day's unfurling regal events! Yes, the party begins at 6am and goes until 9am (when I will then promptly go back to bed), so set your alarms now!

However, do note I will be on from 7:30-9AM EST, and Luann will be on from 8-9AM, but a slew of other respectable citizens will also be co-hosting the event, so feel free to jump in anytime. Other co-hosts include: 
Elle Magazine's Creative Director, Joe Zee
Bravo's Pregnant in Heels' Host, Rosie Pope 
Daily Connection Correspondent, Kelly Wallace

So, in the words of Kim Zolciak, "Don't Be Tardy For the Party" (Prepare for ears to bleed....)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Venus enters Aries

Me Me Me...

Everybody thinks about who would play them if a biopic of their lives were ever to be made. For me, the choices were always limited, as there aren't many famous Asian celebs out there to choose from...I love, love, love Margaret Cho, and think she would do an awesome and amazing job of reenacting me if need be, but it isn't really such a perfect fit...and my only other choice, Yoko Ono, well, she is just a bit too out of the age range...So who, who would ever have the style, bravado or that je ne sais quoi to pull it off?

For my entire life I was never able to answer this question, "Who can play me?" Which was so sad, as other friends, all other non-Asian friends, were always able to rattle off choice after flattering choice to play them, but me? No. Never--until this week, when I had my startling revelation! Yes, it finally dawned on me that there was someone out there that could do it and do it 110%--JUJUBEE!!!!!!!

YES! Having won my heart over in season 2 of RuPaul's Drag Race, I don't know why I didn't put two and two together until now that she is the girl with the courage, uniqueness, nerve and talent--but now that I have, hoorah, let the bells ring and that 3-D Lifetime movie to begin filming! hee hee ha ha....

Anyway, after I had this epiphany, I told me BFF, and his response was, "DUH!"

Primetime Jujubee:


...and in other interesting facts, I learned Voltaire, Debbie Harry, Nikita Khrushchev, and Mahatma Gandhi are all the same height as me (Celeb Heights) and that my drag name is Lois Carmen Denominator (Drag Name). 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Full Moon in Libra

Chi, I feel good.

I'm one of those people who LOVE SLEEP and can do it for hours and hours and hours--and if I don't get it good, I'll be dramatic about it....So it was really disturbing to me when I realized since I moved into my current apartment over a year ago that I never really felt like I was getting amazing sleep--and I'm talking the kind of sleep that when I wake up, I already feel fulfilled with my day because the sleep was THAT good.....Sure, I got there were certain factors that could be the issue of my unrest, as in the location, my immediate environment, etc... but since I'm also a major procrastinator, getting around to fixing things is sometimes a work in perpetual progress....but spontaneously over these last few days, I snapped into gear and decided to sort things out--for one, make changes to my bedroom via trying out feng shui to see if it could help me get to that level of sleeping-high that I thrive on -- AND DON'T YOU KNOW IT, IT TOTALLY WORKED!!!!!!!

Yes, since I "grounded" my bed on both sides, I am now back at sleeping at marathon lengths with winning levels of fullfillment, no joke, and I couldn't be more excited....So, if you happen to have fallen into the same quagmire as me, or just in overall disenchantment with any part of your life, here are a few simple feng shui tips I found on the internet that can help make turning that chi around in your life, to get it into better working order with minimal effort:

For Maximum Sex and Sleeping Power:
  • Don't put with your bed in direct line to the door, as that is the way the dead are brought out of a room. 
  • Ground your bed with two nightstands or pieces of furniture next to each side of your bed and be able to access into your bed from both sides.
  • Avoid sleeping under beams or anything that hangs from the ceiling, like a chandelier.
For Maximum Money and General Luck:
  • If you work at home, place your desk the farthest from the door to the left from the door, with your desk facing the door--and never place your desk with your back facing a door or a window.
  • Have blooming plants and flowers throughout your office space to promote good prosperity, but avoid arid and pointy plants, like cactus. Think lush greenery.
  • Avoid clutter, as it will stagnate the chi and stall business or the energy of whatever room it is in.
For Maximum Energy & Health Vitality:
  • To keep the energy fresh, move your furniture around periodically.
  • Keep bathroom and closet doors closed.
  • Place mirrors in places that reflect a beautiful view, but avoid placing big mirrors in your bedroom that reflect the bed, as it will deplete the energy.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Pluto goes retrograde in Capricorn

When death goes bad...

In the shadow of bad feng shui, I live down the street from a funeral parlor and often times I am awoken WAY earlier than I wish by a crazy cacophony of something else....Now, I get it's a Chinese tradition to have a band playing to help scare demons away, but this one is scaring the living too — and how the deceased isn't confused in its newly spirited state from this too, god only knows???...So, question of the day, does this band SUCK or is it just me? My case...

What I woke to?
video

...another Chinese funeral band...


....a more traditional one...


NOW, SERIOUSLY, AM I WRONG?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Neptune in Pisces

Walking the fine line between reality and lies.

Weeeee! Today, marks the day Neptune, the planet of dreams, creativity, and miracles has come back to its natural place, Pisces! Yes, this is a happening that only occurs once every 165 years, so THIS IS A BIG DEAL! As for what it means, it means expanding your point of view, dreaming bigger and letting your intuition lead you. However, not without its pitfalls, Neptune is also the planet of illusion and self-deception can happen easily and at times, unknowingly, as slipping into a fantasy can have its own powerful and numbing allure, as emotions will run deeper now. So, to keep your head on straight, it’ll mean using your wisdom to keep you in check and stay on track to reaching your ultimate destiny!

As for areas to make the magic happen:
Aries (March 21-April 19): Furthering your legacy and what you want your life to stand for.
Taurus (April 20- May 20): Deepening friendships and connecting on higher levels.
Gemini (May 21- June 20): Stepping up to your idea of success on your terms.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Standing by your ideals and fortifying your philosophies fearlessly.
Leo (July 23- August 22): Owning up to your intensity, passions and sexuality.
Virgo (August 23- September 22): Believing in your commitments to benefit from them.
Libra (September 23- October 22): Contributing yourself for a greater good, perpetuating your karma.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Allowing yourself to be appreciated in love and for your creativity.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Knowing where you belong and enjoying the comforts of having a foundation you can rely on.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Letting loose your charm and understanding its value.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Investing wisely and having your resources work for you.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Trusting your visions; being and enjoying your authentic self.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

New Moon In Aries

Energize!

Nothing like cha-cha-cha-ing to bring one back to full blast and on this very day, a new moon in Aries (which is like New Year's Day, as Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and a new moon represents new beginnings), it's almost mandatory to have to shake your moneymaker today and as many days ahead as possible, because dancing is a universal instinct, the ultimate biological impulse and it's just fun! So, boogie down to whatever productions...but if you live in the NYC area, check out tonight's Salsa Sundays at Brooklyn Bowl with the Williamsburg Salsa Orchestra! The music starts at 7pm and goes til 10pm, but if you want a free dance lesson, arrive at 5:30!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Mars enters Aries

Don't think, do!

Mars is back in full warrior mode! Yes, sliding into Aries at 12:51 am this morning, it marks the start of its new cycle, as Aries is Mars' natural position and ruler. So, to make the most of this auspicious occasion, which only happens every two years, it means time to kick off a new adventure with a giant leap of faith, and placing all bets on you! ...As it goes, with Aries, wimps suck and will be punished...So, time to muster up all dregs of courage and be willing to fling yourself off into the deepest end of your highest ambition. As for directions you'll be luckiest to venture out into...

Aries (March 21-April 19): Your vanity. To do great, you need to look great. Admit it, you're vain and you just can't fight it. 
Taurus (April 20- May 20): Take up a new creative hobby without judging yourself. Besides, you're ruled by Venus, the creative gods are behind you.
Gemini (May 21- June 20): Take control and reach out to that someone you can't get off your mind, to establish a new friendship. If anything, it'll give you so-much-more to talk about.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Ask for more money and know you're worth it.
Leo (July 23- August 22): Take that dream vacation. NOW!
Virgo (August 23- September 22): Flex your power and enjoy cracking the whip on subordinates.
Libra (September 23- October 22): Stop waffling and commitment. Only when you do will you know what you truly have.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Enforce your logic as it were the new world order.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Put no limits on your theatrics, attention loves you.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Revamp your home or move. You need new scenery!
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Sign up for a class or somehow learn a new skill to broaden your intellectual horizons and show off your brains to new people.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): Throw a huge party and invite everyone you know!