Saturday, July 10, 2010

Venus enters Virgo

Go ahead, judge.

As it goes, Venus is the planet of what gets you off and it moved into Virgo today, the sign of the critic. Smash them together and it means getting extra thrills from being catty. However, despite this being a cosmic mandate of sorts, to go balls to the wall and feel the need to state your opinions like fact, and shoot off statements like bullets, at the least, play by the rules. Realize there are certain areas of playing God that will be more entertaining than others, more auspicious, and as it goes like this:

Your Cosmic Bitch List

(March 21-April 19)
People's bodies and their gross habits. The overall stupidity of humanity.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
People's masturbations masked as creativity/other people's children.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Your family, thanks for the scars.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Your siblings, the way they communicate like monkey’s with erectile dysfunction, what is up with that?

Leo (July 23- August 22)
The way people spend money and how cheap they can be.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Everything from your past and how much work you had to do to clean up the mess.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
All your friends and why they aren't making you the center of their universe.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Anyone and everyone related to your career that isn't helping you get ahead.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Foreign people, as in anyone you think is weird.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
All your sex partners, past, present and future. WTF where you thinking?

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Your closest relationships and how you give and give to those ungrateful bastards.