Thursday, July 29, 2010

Mars enters Libra

Believe in the power of love!

Pretty in Pink, the 80s teen classic of love beyond the classes...and this one is dedicated to my DuckMan, Shlomi Moto Wagner--love, love, love! XoXoXo

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Mercury enters Virgo

Sharpening your brain with facts, not conjecture.

Crash Course Berlin Cliffnotes: 24 Things I Learned In Berlin.
  1. Everything goes in Berlin.
  2. With drinking not demonized, as in you can drink in public and at the age of 16, Berlin's streets are seemingly puke free.
  3. You can't get lost as long as you see the TV tower, the tall thing with the silver ball on top.
  4. Berlin's architecture is amazing, with old and new layered upon each other throughout. There is something to be said about having to rebuild your city that many times...
  5. German ice coffee has ice cream in it.
  6. The fanciest McDonald's I've seen is at Checkpoint Charlie. It has a balcony.
  7. The art at the East Side Gallery (painted slabs of the Berlin Wall) is mostly mediocre. Who chose these artists anyway?
  8. Outdoor bars and clubs are all over and admission can get you in for a few days--as that is how long some parties in Berlin last.
  9. You can find any good time you want in Berlin, if you just ask or keep walking.
  10. If you want to see the inside of Berliner Dom, the city's largest church, you have to pay. The only church I know of with an admission.
  11. Tiengarten is the largest park in Berlin. Not the prettiest, but you can go naked here. (The walk through the park that spits you out at The Brandenburg Gate is lined with trees that have eyes. It's very Brother's Grimm.)
  12. Pretzels here are the size of my head.
  13. You are not allowed to take a picture of the Nefertiti bust in the Neues Museum.
  14. The double-decker 100 public bus runs late into the night and will take you past or near most of the main tourist attractions of the city: Brandenburg Gate, Reichstag, Schloss Bellevue, Unter den Linden (Berlin's fanciest street). You can pick it up near Alexanderplatz or Zoologischer Garten train stations. The best part is tearing up to the top with your ruthless friends, to get the front seats.
  15. If you're going to eat Currywurst, get it at a German food stand, not a Turkish one.
  16. Prostitution is legal and the average cost of the street variety is 80 euros. To find them, go to Oranienstrasse and look for the girls in the white or pink patent leather thigh-high stiletto go-go boots.
  17. Even though the park's name in Potsdamn is Sanssouci, nothing goes there. You can't picnic or even sit on the lawn.
  18. Most of the hot guys are 17 or dirty and barefoot, or all of the above.
  19. Karaoke at Mauerpark is the most amazing karaoke. Positive vibe overload.
  20. My name is on the Berlin wall, next to Shlomi's and my friends Jay and Joe's, who were in Berlin two weeks before I got there.
  21. You can spend a day in a bikini in Berlin, at the lakes and at Liquidrom--in the amazing salty floating pool (I took a nap on the water!!!!) ...or you can be naked all day too.
  22. Everything is bigger in Germany, the feet of their men and their super plus tampons.
  23. "Bubbles change everything." Shlomi

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Full moon in Aquarius, my natal 9th

Global adventures start now...

12 Eurotrashy days in Berlin in 8 minutes and 27 seconds...
Crash Course Berlin!

(Dedicated To Leon.)
Crash Course Cliffnotes.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Jupiter goes retrograde in Aries

What can superstitions hurt now?

When Jupiter, the planet of luck, goes out of whack, it's time to hold tight, as things that have come easy won't be so anymore. Instead, silly mishaps may replace once airtight schedules and an overall sense of trepidation can interfere. Whatever, it's just how it rolls in life, as we need a bit of yin to get the yang and until November 18, 2010, it'll be just like that.

Think of it as a period to claim absolute independence, as this is the time when all smoke and mirrors get put aside and it's all about just what you have in you to get you to where you have to be...and if holding onto to some superstition for that ride is necessary, to ensure a little extra safety or soothing, then what could that hurt?

A few fun superstitions from around the world to consider:
  • Brazil: They believe three kisses on the face of a single girl brings marriage.
  • China: Jiggling your legs is bad luck, as it apparently can jiggle all the money out of your life.
  • Cuba: To see if you have good spirits around you, leave a glass of water by your bedside. If when you wake and there are bubbles in the glass, you are being protected.
  • England: Meeting a spotted or black and white dog on the way to a business appointment is a lucky sign.
  • Greece: Carrying a little bone of a bat in your wallet can protect you from the evil eye.
  • Japan: Don't sleep with your head facing north, as only the dead lie in this direction.
  • Korea: Avoid writing your name or the name of anyone you love in red, as it is like a death-wish.
  • Russia: Avoid drinking and eating while also looking in a mirror, because your luck will evaporate fast doing this.
  • Taiwan: If you see a crow in the morning, expect a bad day.
  • Thailand: If you walk outside and a lizard drops on you, go right back inside. Otherwise, your day will be filled with agony.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sun enters Leo

May we hope it's 31 days of good hair days.

I love Dr. Oz. I have made him a part of my AM habit and I feel all the better for it. His tips make me feel like I have a chance to save myself. I saw his animation of what sugar does to the inside of your body and it really made me think twice before scarfing down half the shit that I eat. He's brilliant and totally doable. I love him, love him almost as much as I love sugar.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Saturn re-enters Libra

Oh-no, not this again...

Saturn, the big bad mamajama of the planets whose sole astrological purpose is to kick ass and teach harsh lessons is moving back into Libra again today. While it’s said Libra isn’t as difficult of a place to host Saturn, who cares? Learning any new tricks is hard.

Having witnessed a short taste of Saturn power in Libra with its visit from October 29, 2009 to April 7th, 2010, it’s now time to get back to the drawing boards, to really get down with this course of learning: how to balance ourselves in various areas of our lives, according to our sign…so the role call is as follows:

Areas in which Saturn wants us to learn some self-control, balance and graciousness...(and until October 5, 2012!!!!!!!!!!!)

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Partnerships, contracts, aesthetics

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Health, efficiency, generosity

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Romance, creativity, children

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Home, family, business

Leo (July 23- August 22)
Communications, community, learning

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Self-esteem, money, security

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Image, risk taking, leadership

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The past, your intuition, daydreaming

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Friendships, hopes and dreams, humanitarian efforts

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Career, social status, authority

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
Global adventures, spirituality, individuality

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Sex, transformation, power

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Solar New Moon Eclipse in Cancer

Dance, Dance, Revelation Party.

Wah, sad to see the World Cup end today, as it was a fun fest of hot international eye-candy. I got sucked into the madness somewhere along the road and it got progressively more intense as the weeks went on, with needing to watch youtube videos of hot soccer players doing their thing in-between matches, like a high I had to maintain....and of course, I have no clue what the actual point of the game is, the rules or even the number of players needed. All I know is they have to score goals on opposite sides of the field and it's sexy...I love how incredibly fuckable those players are in the heat of battle, when they score a goal, then run down the field reveling in their masculinity and all the adoration or when they jump on each other in sheer excitement and you can feel their muscles mashing into each other...or when they are playing and slide all into each other, with their hot lean bodies and good hair. Ahhh, too much, too much...this shit was like porn and today, it's sad to say good-bye....but thank god there are millions of more minutes of youtube videos to take in until the next four years...

Some of the hotness... [To turn off the music, scroll down to 6/6 post.)



Saturday, July 10, 2010

Venus enters Virgo

Go ahead, judge.

As it goes, Venus is the planet of what gets you off and it moved into Virgo today, the sign of the critic. Smash them together and it means getting extra thrills from being catty. However, despite this being a cosmic mandate of sorts, to go balls to the wall and feel the need to state your opinions like fact, and shoot off statements like bullets, at the least, play by the rules. Realize there are certain areas of playing God that will be more entertaining than others, more auspicious, and as it goes like this:

Your Cosmic Bitch List

Aries
(March 21-April 19)
People's bodies and their gross habits. The overall stupidity of humanity.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
People's masturbations masked as creativity/other people's children.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Your family, thanks for the scars.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Your siblings, the way they communicate like monkey’s with erectile dysfunction, what is up with that?

Leo (July 23- August 22)
The way people spend money and how cheap they can be.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Yourself.

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Everything from your past and how much work you had to do to clean up the mess.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
All your friends and why they aren't making you the center of their universe.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Anyone and everyone related to your career that isn't helping you get ahead.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Foreign people, as in anyone you think is weird.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
All your sex partners, past, present and future. WTF where you thinking?

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Your closest relationships and how you give and give to those ungrateful bastards.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Mercury enters Leo

If you have to talk, make it about you.

The dumbest thing I love to read is the "25 things You Don't Know About Me" in US Magazine. I'll have not the slightest interest in who they might feature, but I read it anyway because I am demented and have this thing for lists... I like when I think who ever profiled is going to be so dull and it turns out that they're actually kind of funny and/or interesting....Of course, my favorite part is reading and pretending to make my list--like if they say they like blue, I think my favorite color...but today, instead of pretending, today I am going to think of 25 things you don't know about me, based on nothing, other than I want to, so here it is:
  1. If I could have one superpower, it'd be instant teleportation for me and anything I touch.
  2. I can solve The Rubik's Cube.
  3. I'm a goofy foot.
  4. I'll judge a guy's sex style by the way he eats.
  5. I love disaster movies, almost as much as horror.
  6. If I could physically change myself, I'd be taller and love a longer neck.
  7. I have a secret fantasy of being a NYC cab driver, but without those long hours and I'd get a swank new taxi, not one of those busted ones with the scant AC.
  8. I'd rather have a bowl of soup than a piece of cake.
  9. I never owned a car.
  10. I'm not a Halloween person.
  11. I love that Hello Kitty is a Scorpio too.
  12. I am growing basil and chives right now and it feels pretty monumental to grow my own food.
  13. I just rode my bike over The Manhattan Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge and The Williamsburg Bridge all in the past week for the first time ever.
  14. My highest grade ever was my final grade for the year in physics, junior year of high school. I got an A+ that equaled 105 pts, the highest that year out of everybody! I have no rational explanation how I understood it, considering I am no science genius...but seems I am a racial stereotype.
  15. I think Easter has the best candy, as far as the holidays.
  16. I use to have purple hair.
  17. I have only lived in 4 places my whole life.
  18. I've snowmobiled across a glacier in Iceland and rode an elephant through the northern Hills of Thailand.
  19. I am superstitious about not having cake on your birthday.
  20. I was born with no bottom canine teeth.
  21. I always choose the window seat on planes.
  22. I like the cookie part of the Oreo, not the stuffing.
  23. I want to see all 50 states. I have 11 more to go...and I want to see all 7 continents, 3 more to go.
  24. I can't wait to meet Paul, the psychic octopus, because I'm in awe of him.
  25. I thought making this list was kind of hard, despite all my trivialities.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Uranus goes retrograde in Aries

Everything is transient, so don't bother stressing...

Yeaaaah, finally got some major hardcore sleep. Like woke up at 2:31 PM! and it was AMAZING. It's been ages since I got to sleep in like that and I so loved it. I even did a double take at the time, feeling impressed with myself....things haven't been the same since I moved. I haven't fully adjusted to the sun and how it comes into my room every morning like a cruel headmaster. It's not cool. I hate it. I live for sleeping until my body is fully exhausted of sleep...but lately, due to the lack of the good stuff, I always feel like I have that quarter tank more in me and it weighs me down....It's painful how my wake up routine now is glare, then rolling like a greedy troll to the darker side of the bed, to have to then zip back to the other side as the sun passes. I'm like a typewriter. My friend Judy, always amazing, was a sweetie and surprised me with two awesome silk eye masks, as she said, "It's just unnatural that you wake up that early." ...and it's true, I hate getting up early MORE THAN ANYTHING. I like late night way more than early morning. My associations of early morning are mostly unpleasant: school, being wired, jury duty...scratch that, I dug jury duty...at least last time I did it. I got picked to be on a jury and it was ideal. It was certain it'd only last two days max and it was a cut and dry DUI at a check point trial. The defendant was cute too, so it felt super sexy being part of the justice system that turn around....anyway, without my daily sleep exhaustion technique of maintaining, it's a bit bizarre feeling these days...hmmmm, what was my point anyway?