Jupiter goes retrograde in Aries

What can superstitions hurt now?

When Jupiter, the planet of luck, goes out of whack, it's time to hold tight, as things that have come easy won't be so anymore. Instead, silly mishaps may replace once airtight schedules and an overall sense of trepidation can interfere. Whatever, it's just how it rolls in life, as we need a bit of yin to get the yang and until November 18, 2010, it'll be just like that.

Think of it as a period to claim absolute independence, as this is the time when all smoke and mirrors get put aside and it's all about just what you have in you to get you to where you have to be...and if holding onto to some superstition for that ride is necessary, to ensure a little extra safety or soothing, then what could that hurt?

A few fun superstitions from around the world to consider:

• Brazil: They believe three kisses on the face of a single girl brings marriage.
• China: Jiggling your legs is bad luck, as it apparently can jiggle all the money out of your life.
  
• Cuba: To see if you have good spirits around you, leave a glass of water by your bedside. If when you wake and there are bubbles in the glass, you are being protected.
• England: Meeting a spotted or black and white dog on the way to a business appointment is a lucky sign.
• Greece: Carrying a little bone of a bat in your wallet can protect you from the evil eye.
• Japan: Don't sleep with your head facing north, as only the dead lie in this direction.
  
• Korea: Avoid writing your name or the name of anyone you love in red, as it is like a death-wish.
• Russia: Avoid drinking and eating while also looking in a mirror, because your luck will evaporate fast doing this.
• Taiwan: If you see a crow in the morning, expect a bad day.
  
• Thailand: If you walk outside and a lizard drops on you, go right back inside. Otherwise, your day will be filled with agony.

Sun enters Leo

May we hope it's 31 days of good hair days.

I love Dr. Oz. I have made him a part of my AM habit and I feel all the better for it. His tips make me feel like I have a chance to save myself. I saw his animation of what sugar does to the inside of your body and it really made me think twice before scarfing down half the shit that I eat. He's brilliant and totally doable. I love him, love him almost as much as I love sugar.

Saturn re-enters Libra

Oh-no, not this again...

Saturn, the big bad mamajama of the planets whose sole astrological purpose is to kick ass and teach harsh lessons is moving back into Libra again today. While it’s said Libra isn’t as difficult of a place to host Saturn, who cares? Learning any new tricks is hard.

Having witnessed a short taste of Saturn power in Libra with its visit from October 29, 2009 to April 7th, 2010, it’s now time to get back to the drawing boards, to really get down with this course of learning: how to balance ourselves in various areas of our lives, according to our sign…so the role call is as follows:

Areas in which Saturn wants us to learn some self-control, balance and graciousness...(and until October 5, 2012!!!!!!!!!!!)

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Partnerships, contracts, aesthetics

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Health, efficiency, generosity

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Romance, creativity, children

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Home, family, business

Leo (July 23- August 22)
Communications, community, learning

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Self-esteem, money, security

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Image, risk taking, leadership

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The past, your intuition, daydreaming

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Friendships, hopes and dreams, humanitarian efforts

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Career, social status, authority

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
Global adventures, spirituality, individuality

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Sex, transformation, power

Moon in Scorpio, my solar 1st

The creative juices flow...







My latest masterpiece: Gum Jail

Solar New Moon Eclipse in Cancer

Dance, Dance, Revelation Party.

Wah, sad to see the World Cup end today, as it was a fun fest of hot international eye-candy. I got sucked into the madness somewhere along the road and it got progressively more intense as the weeks went on, with needing to watch youtube videos of hot soccer players doing their thing in-between matches, like a high I had to maintain....and of course, I have no clue what the actual point of the game is, the rules or even the number of players needed. All I know is they have to score goals on opposite sides of the field and it's sexy...I love how incredibly fuckable those players are in the heat of battle, when they score a goal, then run down the field reveling in their masculinity and all the adoration or when they jump on each other in sheer excitement and you can feel their muscles mashing into each other...or when they are playing and slide all into each other, with their hot lean bodies and good hair. Ahhh, too much, too much...this shit was like porn and today, it's sad to say good-bye....but thank god there are millions of more minutes of youtube videos to take in until the next four years...

Some of the hotness... [To turn off the music, scroll down to 6/6 post.)

Venus enters Virgo

Go ahead, judge.

As it goes, Venus is the planet of what gets you off and it moved into Virgo today, the sign of the critic. Smash them together and it means getting extra thrills from being catty. However, despite this being a cosmic mandate of sorts, to go balls to the wall and feel the need to state your opinions like fact, and shoot off statements like bullets, at the least, play by the rules. Realize there are certain areas of playing God that will be more entertaining than others, more auspicious, and as it goes like this:

Your Cosmic Bitch List

Aries (March 21-April 19)
People's bodies and their gross habits. The overall stupidity of humanity.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
People's masturbations masked as creativity/other people's children.

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Your family, thanks for the scars.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Your siblings, the way they communicate like monkey’s with erectile dysfunction, what is up with that?

Leo (July 23- August 22)
The way people spend money and how cheap they can be.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Yourself.

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Everything from your past and how much work you had to do to clean up the mess.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
All your friends and why they aren't making you the center of their universe.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Anyone and everyone related to your career that isn't helping you get ahead.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Foreign people, as in anyone you think is weird.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
All your sex partners, past, present and future. WTF where you thinking?

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Your closest relationships and how you give and give to those ungrateful bastards.

Mercury enters Leo

If you have to talk, make it about you.

The dumbest thing I love to read is the "25 things You Don't Know About Me" in US Magazine. I'll have not the slightest interest in who they might feature, but I read it anyway because I am demented and have this thing for lists... I like when I think who ever profiled is going to be so dull and it turns out that they're actually kind of funny and/or interesting....Of course, my favorite part is reading and pretending to make my list--like if they say they like blue, I think my favorite color...but today, instead of pretending, today I am going to think of 25 things you don't know about me, based on nothing, other than I want to, so here it is:

1. If I could have one superpower, it'd be instant teleportation for me and anything I touch.
2. I can solve The Rubik's Cube.
3. I'm a goofy foot.
4. I'll judge a guy's sex style by the way he eats.
   
5. I love disaster movies, almost as much as horror.
6. If I could physically change myself, I'd be taller and love a longer neck.
   
7. I have a secret fantasy of being a NYC cab driver, but without those long hours and I'd get a swank new taxi, not one of those busted ones with the scant AC.
   
8. I'd rather have a bowl of soup than a piece of cake.
9. I never owned a car.
10. I'm not a Halloween person.
11. I love that Hello Kitty is a Scorpio too.
12. I am growing basil and chives right now and it feels pretty monumental to grow my own food.
    
13. I just rode my bike over The Manhattan Bridge, The Brooklyn Bridge and The Williamsburg Bridge all in the past week for the first time ever.
14. My highest grade ever was my final grade for the year in physics, junior year of high school. I got an A+ that equaled 105 pts, the highest that year out of everybody! I have no rational explanation how I understood it, considering I am no science genius...but seems I am a racial stereotype.
    
15. I think Easter has the best candy, as far as the holidays.
16. I use to have purple hair.
17. I have only lived in 4 places my whole life.
18. I've snowmobiled across a glacier in Iceland and rode an elephant through the northern Hills of Thailand.
19. I am superstitious about not having cake on your birthday.
20. I was born with no bottom canine teeth.
21. I always choose the window seat on planes.
    
22. I like the cookie part of the Oreo, not the stuffing.
23. I want to see all 50 states. I have 11 more to go...and I want to see all 7 continents, 3 more to go.
    
24. I can't wait to meet Paul, the psychic octopus, because I'm in awe of him.
    
25. I thought making this list was kind of hard, despite all my trivialities.
    

Uranus goes retrograde in Aries

Everything is transient, so don't bother stressing...

Yeaaaah, finally got some major hardcore sleep. Like woke up at 2:31 PM! and it was AMAZING. It's been ages since I got to sleep in like that and I so loved it. I even did a double take at the time, feeling impressed with myself....things haven't been the same since I moved. I haven't fully adjusted to the sun and how it comes into my room every morning like a cruel headmaster. It's not cool. I hate it. I live for sleeping until my body is fully exhausted of sleep...but lately, due to the lack of the good stuff, I always feel like I have that quarter tank more in me and it weighs me down....It's painful how my wake up routine now is glare, then rolling like a greedy troll to the darker side of the bed, to have to then zip back to the other side as the sun passes. I'm like a typewriter. My friend Judy, always amazing, was a sweetie and surprised me with two awesome silk eye masks, as she said, "It's just unnatural that you wake up that early." ...and it's true, I hate getting up early MORE THAN ANYTHING. I like late night way more than early morning. My associations of early morning are mostly unpleasant: school, being wired, jury duty...scratch that, I dug jury duty...at least last time I did it. I got picked to be on a jury and it was ideal. It was certain it'd only last two days max and it was a cut and dry DUI at a check point trial. The defendant was cute too, so it felt super sexy being part of the justice system that turn around....anyway, without my daily sleep exhaustion technique of maintaining, it's a bit bizarre feeling these days...hmmmm, what was my point anyway?

Full moon eclipse in Capricorn

When structure gets redefined.

Full moon eclipses always bring shock and in Capricorn, it means something you through you could rely on showed its true colors and forced you to change your trajectory. Sure, it sucks and and yes, you might of felt it coming, but were in denial, but whatever the case, you now just have to deal....The one saving grace, at least it wasn't Armageddon and you didn't have to deal with The Day After...

So, to pep you up from whatever let you down, drown your sorrows in this: The 80s miniseries that help steer a generation into existentialism.

Sun enters Cancer, the summer solstice

Drop the excuses and party!

Summer is officially on and it’s time to let loose! With the sun entering Cancer at 7:29 AM today EST, that means the perfect time to take note of what each of us needs to do to ensure a fabulous season. Here it is, my sign-by-sign guide on how to align yourself with the stars for maximum pleasure and make summer 2010 your hottest and happiest!

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Turn over a new leaf in all areas of your life, as new is your new black. This also means allowing others to take care of you, because this time around they won’t fuck it up. Woohoo for humanity!

Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Put the past to rest for good by letting your mouth run and dropping all your emotional baggage right on the toes of those people that have walked over you the most. Savor the taste of revenge!

Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Keep it social and don’t be scared to spend your cash. These good times will be priceless and make your memoirs worth the read.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Whatever it takes to get you to the top, do it! Winning is your aphrodisiac, so screw being humble for another day.

Leo (July 23- August 22)
Who cares about logic, as it’s only holding you back now. Go ahead; follow your escapist tendencies, as you’ll learn Utopia does exists if take that giant leap of faith over to it.

Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Sharing skeletons in your closets now will be badass and make you quite the queen of your scene. Seems your depravities will be just what will make others worship you more.

Libra (September 23- October 22)
Who cares how co-dependent you want to be, as going full force into Siamese twin status and working as a team will get you the brass ring of your dreams now.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Change up your routines by using your passport as much as possible. It’s no longer about whom you know, but whom you have yet to know.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Start a new spiritual journey that has you getting deeper in touch with your most intimate relationships and discover a few more g-spots than you first counted.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Sign on the dotted line and set your anchor down, as you’ll finally start to see the worst of the shit storms are behind you and that karma really isn’t out to torture the hell out of you anymore.

Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
Fuck consequences, as it’s variety that’ll float your boat the most — and remember, you aren’t responsible for anyone other than yourself and as long as you can sleep at night, who cares?

Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Rules are for assholes that have no self-control or a brain to juggle common sense to their favor. For you, skip out on them and forge your own path, as that’ll be what brings you your jackpot.

Venus enters Leo

When there are no limits to what you'll do for love.

Black Lizard is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's a Japanese movie from 1968 following the most glamorous and notorious criminal of the time, Black Lizard. Although I think she is the epitome of a Scorpio, with the lengths and schemes she goes to win love, assuming she would be misunderstood if she behaved in any other way than underhandedly, it's Venus in Leo today and Leo is the rule of all things cinematic, so this winds up being the perfect time to post it! Plus, Venus in Leo is all about grandeur and excess, which this film lives up to! Hope you enjoy, Black Lizard:

New moon in Gemini, my natal 1st

Go ahead, brag.

My nephew is CRAZY cute!