Pluto And Mars Face Off

There's No Escaping The Dramatics

I must be better than German TV, because I don't think the route to Rheinsberg has seen this much glamour since the turn of two centuries before last. Those little blonde German children couldn't even blink when gazing upon me -- granted, this was only when I was officially in the middle of nowhere Germany and I was on a bus boarded at Neuruppin. A 45-minute ride that gave me just enough time to transform completely in clothes and make-up into something special to reunite with my awesome and amazing Shlomi, who was there to perform in Barber of Seville.

...And even though I was sent a detailed itinerary, down to the minute of each arrival and departure and even approximate walk times between platforms, I still fucked it up. Two minutes before the proper stop, I got off. What the fuck I was thinking? This is Germany and if the arrival time says 13:16, it's 13:16, not 13:14.

If I had any brain, I'd of put it all together before it was too late, seeing that there was no Shlomi, a two-minute time difference and then the nothingness of where the stop was located, as in no castle in sight, which was my destination... So, there I was looking like a craigslist hooker walking down the road in this German countryside with nothing, but field, forest and asphalt surrounding me: Me, Asian and in rhinestoned-encrusted silver heels, animal print short-shorts, red lips, big hair and flashy and obviously fake jewels.

Thankfully, my shoes were comfy and walking wasn't a bitch, even in the dirt. However, the 100 degree weather was. I tried flagging down passing buses, but to no avail -- although a few drivers did wave back...and seeing there were a few buses, I happily assumed the stop had to be somewhere obvious and if walking was the only way, it could be done....but when I got to an abandoned-looking gas station down the road, with only three random characters there, it made me wonder where I was going to wind up, as my resistance was low...Yes, from there I jumped into the back of a van with tinted windows with two complete strangers. One, never did I see without his sunglasses on and the other was shaving in the mirror of the passenger window and saying in seconds they had to be at the castle in a hurried manner like The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, but resembling the professor from Back To The Future.

Seems they just happen to be on their way to meet their old friend for lunch, the Creative Director of the opera, and was heading to the castle too! Hoorah! I didn't even care if they were actually serial rapists at that point, I just wanted out from the sun and being anywhere other than were I was...but all was fine and my wacky new friends were a pure delight. If anything, my entrance into town was even more dramatic that planned.

...Yet, that was only the start of the amazing time to come and the fabulous people I'd meet...

P.S. As for my 2¢ about the production: WUNDERBAR! PHANTASTISCH! I have seen many operas (mostly at the MET. My favorite opera is La Cenerentola) and this is my second time seeing Barber of Seville. The first time was at the Vienna Opera House, but the Rheinsberg production superseded that experience and will be the Barber of Seville I will remember always.