Saturn enters Libra

The reality reformation begins.

I’m a peeper. As a kid, I totally snuck over to the Christmas tree when no one was around and carefully pulled back the taped corner to see what was inside. It wasn’t so much the knowing, as it was being in on a secret and ahead of something before it was suppose to happen that thrilled me. In my adult life, that curiosity transferred into an addiction to psychics.

Yes, I get I’m a lazy shit by doing things that way, but I can’t help myself. To think someone can just tell me what’s going to happen and then to let it happen sounds like a dream. After all, wouldn’t it be divine to just know and not have to get out of bed until I had to or wanted to? The idea of instant gratification and feeling prepared thrills me, but the irony is that I suck at going to psychics. As much as I want to believe, I rarely have ever had a reading that really floored me — except a few sporadic ones that happened magically…but I have kept trying nonetheless. My encounters are endless too, shamefully so, but fun, sort of. I’d say the worst one was driving with a friend and getting lost and taking over 5 hours to get to a normally 2 hour away destination after waiting 3 months for an appointment and having to end the reading after 10 minutes because I was TOTALLY getting racially profiled. I have no career in computers, brilliant math skills or crazy conservative parents I felt I had to rebel from. I wasn’t rude, but I wasn’t going to pay for that shit. I left, taking my friend with me; explaining to her that she would of probably been told her that she needs to stop chasing after her baby daddy and to get off welfare.

Another incident I had was after reading a book about mediums; so intrigued, I contacted the author and booked an appointment. I had to wait a few months for a phone reading, but it was going to be amazing, so I didn’t care…so I thought. She was an artist, so her thing was that she drew a portrait of whom she contacted. With a souvenir to boot, I didn’t even care I was going to fork over bigger cash for it, until I got an unimpressive reading and then a week later, a sketch of some random old white dude that in no way could resemble any grandfather in my family tree, no matter how hard you shook the branches. I was respectful of her and what she did despite it all, and sent her an email asking if psychics like doctors just can’t work for everyone and that you’d have to find your match. I also explained very diplomatically that the drawing wasn’t anyone I knew. She didn’t address any of my questions or statements and automatically sent me my money back — which I didn’t even ask for, but was totally happy to get.

Then there was Lily Dale. Two summers ago, a friend that happens to be a psychic told me about this town of spiritualists and that the mediums that practice there have to pass a test to prove his or her abilities. Sounded amazing, signed a friend up with me and then booked a flight to fly two hours north, then drive another hour to get there. Although it was the end of the season, we were able to get an appointment with someone considered one of the best. We were totally psyched. It got even more exciting when my friend who took the appointment before me came back saying unbelievable things — like how the psychic knew details of how she spent her morning!!!! Insane! Of course for me, it wasn’t quite that way.

The life he unfurled for me sounded like nothing I’d ever want, was headed for or even aspired to and it made me irritated at how general it seemed and how he asked questions to get information. Among the worst thing he told me that grated on my nerves was seeing me living in a starter home off the east coast of Florida — and not even Miami, somewhere in the middle. There was no way in hell I’d ever live in a starter home off the east coast of Florida!!! Why???? If I could afford an apartment in Manhattan, why would I choose a starter home in Florida? He then also made a lot of other off predictions, I guess assuming I was just out of college and confused. It aggravated me so; I went back after and asked for my money back. It was a rule of the town, so I enforced it.

Not to say all my experiences were awful. I’ve had totally magical experiences that have happened at the most fated times too. Like just this summer at the beach I met a palm reader that was amazing. He even knew how many homes I had lived in and the tarot readings I got from a friend that foretold a predicament I would be in with two people and how it would go down — even with me swearing up and down it would never happen like that… The most insane of all psychic experiences thou happened on one of my worst days ever, from this girl I barely knew that I wound up talking to at a holiday lunch party I had to go to for a rag I was freelancing for at the time. I was fresh off being blindsided by a break-up I never thought would of happened and couldn’t have been more of a wreck. Plus, the weather was the worst — dark, cold and wet and my vision was so blurry from crying, I don’t even know how I found my way to the restaurant.

As soon as she started talking to me I knew she knew things, from all the crazy things she was saying. After lunch, we went back to my place and for 7 hours she told me things I never thought anyone could know, totally blowing my mind and giving me a direction to be able to move ahead again. It was a miracle. Subsequently, exact time frames and predictions she made were accurate and even details of the past were dead on. It was so freaky; it even crept her out — after all, her job was as an editor, not Miss Cleo. However, not everything said happened and ultimately I chose a different option than what she predicted, but only after making major and possibly too many time-consuming fruitless efforts to keep my “fate.”

As of today, if I had to give a statistic, I would say for every 10 bad readings there is one that stands out, but even so, no one has spelled it out for me. There have been foibles in all readings and all too many false positives. Obviously, the correct comment to make after that is, “Duh, only I can know the real answers, etc., etc.,” but if only it were that simple.

Of course, through sorting it out and seeing the cause and lazy effect on me, I do wonder why I attempt to leave my fate in the hands of strangers so often — especially since I am a bit of a curmudgeon at heart. While parallels with predictions have happened, I get that at best, a psychic only can see a path I can take, but that there are endless possibilities and until I get there, see the situation, feel what I need to feel and do what I have to, nothing is a given…. But how do I stop the control freak in me and realize the uselessness in trying to gauge what lies ahead, so I can zone out in la la land instead? Can reality ever be as exciting as my daydreams in which I never have to take responsibility in? I guess now is the time I’ll be finding out.

Mercury enters Scorpio, my solar 1st

A period of self-realizations.

I, like any self-respecting double Scorpio, feel suspicious and secretive about everything. I know I am obsessive and I can't hold myself back from having my mind go over the deep end in most everything I do. Even if it's not showing on my face, it's completely boiling over in my head. Despite my Gemini rising, I am prudent with my methods of communication, as any thing straying from the norm might possibly lead me to a new neurotic way of projecting and well, who wants to even chance that? However, ventured into trying the chat option on my Gmail today, which for some reason I never did ever and wow, it's sooo much fun! Who ever would of thought!!!

Seriously, it's like I am a cave woman that has just been defrosted in the modern age. I'm completely marveling at this new discovery!!! Tonight, I "chatted" with my friend that is traveling in Brazil and has been surfing in paradise; then my friend that lives in Korea logged on and was in Vietnam on a business trip; all the while chatted with my friend that lives down the street recovering from spinal meningitis. Later, my friend living in Israel appeared and I was able to wish him a Happy Birthday in real time!

Conclusion: I am totally retarded, but slightly less now.

Sun enters Scorpio

Feel the hotness.

Scorpio energy is in the air, infusing our brains with pure intensity. Funk it up with one of the sexiest bands of all time: The Ohio Players.

New Moon In Libra, my natal 5th

Feeling a little bit Siskel and a little bit Ebert.

Coincidentally, over the last week I've seen an exorbitant amount of movies at the theatre than normal. Although there were a few trips, there were not a few movies worth remembering...so here are my two cents on the current state of choices at the cinema:

Jennifer's Body
Hot chicks (Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried) and a hot guy (Adam Brody) being bad, a winning combination that could never go wrong. If you take seeing this too seriously, you maybe should reconsider your whole attitude towards life. Sure, not exactly worth the $12 for the experience, unless you are one of those pervy men that like to go alone to moan out loud at the girl-on-girl kissing action, which is so ambiguous on who is doing it, you might as well stay home and try to imagine it with your cash still in your pocket. Otherwise, a perfectly fun and mindless time to share with friends and a bag of Twizzlers.

Paranormal Activity
Yawn fucking yawn. If they only edited out the last 5 seconds before the prologue, it could have been saved from absolute lame-o cheesiness. Had a few moments, but argh, who was paid to pump up the hype? They totally sold their soul to the devil, because this movie was straight up retarded...It was such a rip-off, to compensate we had to sneak into another movie, which lead us to...

The Stepfather
Not something I would of choose to see had it not been starting just as the other movie let out and had lots of extra seats available to be able to sit anywhere. I saw the original of this movie and love it!!!! This, not so much. It wasn't a total karaoke version, but it had its own moments of suspense...Not the best, but not the worst. Rent the original, it's way better.

Where The Wild Things Are
A forty-eight-page book that consists mostly of pictures stretched over a span of approximately 90 minutes to create a movie. You decide if that sounds like a good idea.

Mars enters Leo

Major action!!!!!

Mars, the planet of sex, ambition, passion and aggressive has entered into Leo today, the sign of drama, creativity and pride until June 7, 2010!!!! This is major news, because typically Mars only sticks around in a sign for about a month. So, with this transit, realize it won't be forgiving times and if you don't push your ass to get to the next level of your dreams, only you will be to blame!!! So, get on the ball!! To help you out, here are the areas of your life to go balls to the wall in making this influence work for you for the next 8 months:

Aries (March 21-April 19): romance, risk-taking, entertainment industry.
Taurus (April 20- May 20): home, family, laying down foundations for your own business.
Gemini (May 21- June 20): communications, building a community, learning.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): money, confidence, security.
Leo (July 23- August 22): image, leadership, initiating new ideas.
Virgo (August 23- September 22): dealing with the past, developing your intuition, creating a legacy.
Libra (September 23- October 22): friendships, humanitarian causes, technology.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): career, persona/status, authority figure issues.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): idealism, global travel/affairs, spiritual development.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): sex, commissioned money/inheritances/taxes, intimacy.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): committed partnerships, diplomacy, art.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): routines, health, service to others.

Venus enters Libra

It's all about the pretty now.

Time to get obsessed with your vanity and realize feeling gorgeous isn't just a state of mind. To sort out the best looks for you, without regret, log onto TAAZ, a website to do virtual make-overs and test the waters of your creativity and brashness before jumping in.

Jupiter in Aquarius goes direct

FF the lucky times once again!

My appearance on TYRA today!!!!

Mercury re-enters Libra, my solar 12th and trines my natal 1st

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

Late afternoon...
With anything serious, I hate making decisions. I like when things are so obvious, they make me giggle. With anything in the 12th house, especially Mercury, it's all about introspection and thinking in terms of your legacy — which makes choosing what to do seem soo much more dire, and of course, this makes me crazy, as I've got a perfectionist streak in me and realize it takes a helleva lot of effort to get it all wrapped up in a pretty and perfectly glamorous bow...and to add to that, I am also extremely lazy, and would prefer it all just happen around me and to just have to nod my head in agreement when necessary and then do as little as required...that is why I hate making decisions. It stalls everything, as my brain jumps all over the place and I can get lost in the options, possibilities, etc. If I just don't know, it must not be good — as in too many choices, too many booby traps.

Late evening...
If it doesn't make me feel good, fuck it...

Later evening...
But what if being torn feels good? It's better to feel something than nothing, right?

Next afternoon, 11 hours of sleep later...
Apathy answers all.

Full moon in Aries

It's all about me.

The number 119 follows me. On clocks, I see 1:19 am/pm, 10:19, 11:09, (zeros are not considered in numerology). On invoices, counters, random areas, etc., it’s incessant. It’s occurred so much, that most of the time now it feels extra eerie, an in super happenstance situations where I randomly look up for no reason to see it, like on a passing bus or a marker on the side of a highway, or an exit during a road trip or even randomly winding up in front of houses that are that number.

Even stranger is after I tell friends I see this number; they will start to see it with me. For instance, a few years ago while away for a weekend with two friends, after telling them the night before I keep seeing this number, we pulled into a gas station and the pump right before just had someone buy exactly $119 worth of gas. That was by far the freakiest one yet.

I had a slew of theories for why this was possible, like it would be a significant date, time or person that would mean something to me — as in birth time, birth date or numerological name… So far, my only possible connection is two of my most psychic experiences have been with people born with 119 in their birthdays, as in Nov. 9 and Sept. 11. My one friend, who is also one of those most psychic people I ever met, thought the numbers were markers of some kind, to let me know I was on the right path and that life was moving along properly. Her theory was my favorite and when I see it, it’s like a nod in my own mind that life is just dandy — which is pleasant, because it does offer a sense of perspective.

Of course, this is all speculation and it could just be another random coincidence that I should let go and stop being so kookoo about...but I can't, so I don't...and oddly enough, this full moon was exactly at 11.9' degrees Aries in my natal 11th house, the house of hopes and wishes...what does this means? I can only hope it brings a cavalcade of excitement...and even crazier, when I got home tonight, this was the time on my stove: